Quote: We never really negotiated our free time very well
This is such a good way to phrase it, J!
If you ever talk to H about this, I would suggest putting it this way. It lays out the problem without placing blame and, at the same time, looks forward to a future of doing a better job.
Do you two have any shared projects or interests? H and I were talking again last night about getting our homebrew thing off the ground, or going to a B&B when he gets a new job..just basically dreaming about "us" things to do, in the future. We absolutely wilt, as a couple, when we do not specifically and intentionally carve out time where we have shared interests. It doesn't even have to be something that we DO, it can be something we like to talk about or plan for.
I know what you mean about the projects and time taken away from the family. We sorta have that issue here. The fact that we have such small children has, for the time being, forced us to not go our separate ways so much but I can foresee a future where we will really have to fight the tendency to do our own thing. I'm hoping that the groundwork we are laying now will help us make that transition better.
Crap. I have two kids crying. They just woke up so mom's playtime is over!
