Maybe if you up the WOA, he will stop with the finger painting displays.
I'm with you on that one. That'd drive me nuts.
My H used to do a variation on that theme. He'd show me something but in his self deprecating way...look at this, I totally screwed that up..man I suck at this...etc. I'd sigh (inwardly) and give him the words he was lookin for.
Now I just praise straight away and don't even give him a chance to cut himself down. The changes in him are really amazing. Again, they're nothing that have turned around our M, but it has changed the way he thinks I view him. He now sees a reflection of himself--in my eyes--that is pleasing to him.
P.S. You are really hanging in there w/ D being gone. I'd be a basketcase!!
