Maybe he just meant to convey what somebody would mean if they said "We've been eating too much barbeque and ice cream lately.". If your H is a Type7, he might say this because he is trying to fight against his own self-indulgent nature. He is giving himself dictatorial orders, not you.
H is a combo of 3, 7, and 9...he has the spontaneity, distractibility and self indulgence of a 7 and does his best to avoid painful issues; there are times when he has the peaceful, laid back, passive demeanor of a 9; over the yrs, I think he has fought all these characterisitics to become the achiever( 3). His 2 siblings are both extremes...he has a very controlled, perfectionistic, anorectic sister and a chaotic, happy go lucky brother.
His 3ness comes out at work---he has stayed for over 12 yrs at a job that he is really not happy at because of financial reasons, and is very disciplined regarding diet and exercise, with the occasional slip-up, and in general is hard on himself and on me. He is at his best when he is relaxed, at home, having a few people over for a BBQ where he can just chill, but also be of service. I love seeing him friendly, warm, kind, funny...and happy.
I guess I am reacting because he sometimes gets this authoritative tone with me and I feel shut out. At times he is just too self-preoccupied and I'm not in the equation. When he make declarative statements like that it sets me off.
On Wed nite we had a big fight...we haven't had one this bad in awhile... I was bringing up some issues from the past, which I tend to dwell on when I am not feeling right about things. Bad communication on my part, I know. I provoked him with my " negativity" and everything spiraled downward into a drama, with tears and all. We ended up ML and are officially sexually burnt out. I am now trying to rekindle the good, loving feelings between us. Lottsa cuddling this am, and tomorrow we get to visit D12 at camp. I'm somewhat drained at the moment.
