How can a passionate marriage ever be achieved with a spouse that can not desire?
It's more like your W won't desire. We think of desire as something that occurs easily and naturally, but you can also make up your mind to desire ( clearly not the same thing) and this takes a lot of effort. It's the starting place where H and I began over a yr ago when we made those date nites; it's awkward because you have to push through a lot of internal resistance. But, if you really want to, you can put your mind to it and you can turn around a troubled marriage, and desire becomes easier.
H and I had a nice few days...we had a few mini relationship talks, where I bring up something from the past ( I can't seem to help this) and we eventually discuss how things are/ will be different now. No major arguments or meltdowns. Had some fun time with S10, with H stepping in to break the mom-son fusion that sometimes happens, esp with my daughter away. We went to a ball game, saw fireworks, bbq'd, visited my ailing parents...normal stuff, with a mix of family/friends time, marrigae time, and personal time.
H initiated 3 mornings in a row...he was more relaxed than usual and seems to be more aroused in the am ( not my best time but I'm going with what works). This morning I woke up very early, had a lot of anxiety/neediness and was tossing and turning and woke up H. I asked him to hold me and such and we ended up ML. He was annoyed with me when he left for work...made a comment about his penis falling off and something about sleep, but he just called and bonded a little, saying how stressful the day is going. I am being lazy and have yet to start my day...time to hit the shower.
Goals... keep a good attitude ( esp when H comes home); stop bringing up the past.
