Have you noticed any difference in this "slow arousal" phenomenom based on whether he was the one to initiate? I think my H has a hard time understanding that though it takes me about two seconds to get in the mood mentally, if I'm not the one initiating it might take me a few minutes to get in the groove physically. I mean if I'm in the middle of doing something distinctly unsexual and my H says "Want to go to the bedroom?", I'm automatically going to say "Yes." but I'm not instantly going to get all hot and wet. OTOH, if I'm initiating sex myself, I'm probably going to be at least 1/3 of the way there already. I guess if your H is initiating sex but he's doing it because he knows that you want him to he would be in a state of arousal somewhere in between being the initiator or the initiatee. Does this make any sense?
BTW: I wish my H would be more willing to initiate without a raging hard-on. This would eliminate his need for the porn "crutch". IMO it's much more intimate to become aroused together anyways.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
