If I were you, I wouldn't be too sure that your H's level of physical arousal reflects his physical attraction to you. As a woman who is "object oriented" (turned on by male physical attributes frequently), I find that the mental thought "He looks hot" is generally followed by the desire to do something sexual, but not necessarily by the female equivalent of a hard-on because the physical pump isn't as easily primed as the mental pump. The opposite is also sometimes true. If I'm about to ovulate, I might be physically horny and therefore my H will look "hot" to me even though in an objective sense maybe he really isn't looking especially "hot".
Also, it's important to remember that the VAST majority of men find a woman who is 20 lbs. overweight but confident about her body more attractive than a woman who is a perfect size 6 but acting like a shrinking violet in bed because she is afraid of exposing her miniscule area of cellulite. I know this is true even though I have suffered years of my H's "too fat too f*ck" comments. My sister has a 48 year old boyfriend who has been in 2 serious long term relationships and had many other girlfriends. He told my sister that she is by far the most sexually open and confident about her body lover he has ever had, though I know that my sister is as obsessed with the minor imperfections of her body as any other woman. You just gotta leave that poor body image cr*p behind you when you find yourself sexually engaged. Remember when you were a kid at the beach or playing in the mud and lose yourself to the sensual experience without self-consciousness. You have a Goddess-given right to pleasure.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
