JL---Congrats on the degree!! I know it was hard work, but worth it.
As for you H--I really don't know what to tell you. I mean, you know what a great job I did trying to win my X back--NOT!!!! Can't really give advice on that one, because I honestly don't know what works on these walkaways. They can't be honest about their feelings, or just don't understand them themselves. We just never seem to know where we stand.
I think my X had issues with the housekeeping too. He always said he didn't marry me for my housekeeping ability---and that had to be the truth because I have none. I am a total slob. Never have figured out why he actually married me.
Of course, the bimbo he's living with now is a total neat-nick. She's also a needy whiner from what I have heard--so I think that would wear thin after a while. I'm definitely not a woman who expects a man to save me from anything that moves. Frankly, I'd much rather be me that her. Even if she does have the man that was my H. His loss right.
But, I have wandered from the subject. Are you seeing a counselor? I think that the acting as if and GAL is a good idea. I also think maybe some good healthy flirting might be in order. Don't expect sex---just act like he's a man that you find attractive (as I am sure you still do). Chit chatting about other things besides your R---keeping things light as you can. A look--a playful touch on the arm or back. I know that you know how to flirt. Just don't get too heavy with it--keep things light. He has to want to be with you, remember.
I do think that eventually you will both have to deal with the stuff that has happened. You both need that forgiveness and closure to move forward. But I don't think that you can force it. I think that forgiveness will come with the feeling that you can trust him again. That will take time. You also have to be able to let go of the stuff that has happened in the past--but I really don't think that will happen until it is dealt with.
Maybe it's time to read DR--the section on infidelity might be helpful.
