HI JL, I know how hard this is believe me.The house thing depends on how important it is to you to keep what is the family home.If you sell you need a guarantee from what it sounds like, that H will be with you in buying a joint new home.If he is dodging this.. undecided or unwilling to talk on it ,it sounds chancey to me. There is no way you can force him to come in with you on your choice of home I fear. I know I am hanging on in here in the family home though it is far too big. But I do feel safe here.My H is determined for his own unknown reasons that I stay here as long as I want.. for good if I want. I am doing this and in part wonder if he has still a subconscious wish for me to be here in case he returns. I know one or two posters have agreed to sale of home and regretted it as it seemed to distance them more. Others found it helped them move on. I think you have a good chance of H coming back eventually.. He may be undecided but he is circling and landing at times.. There is no OW to distract and excite him.A matter of time and your patience holding out.. that is the hardest bit. You cannot think clearly if you have no control over things. You need to work out what is your best and safe option. If you sell home you could be homeless eventually ,unless you both agree clearly on what will happen and where you both will live,and can work well together on this.
.I would myself not sell till the legal position re finance is settled.You could buy another place and find as you say you cannot afford it,what happens then if he does not co-operate,or has met someone else? Sorry to be black but your home is your security.. your base, so don't lose out on it,risk loss and ending in a poorer situation.
Detaching comes from having lots to help you distract yourself, I find.. so anything you can do.. especially friends, activities..helps. I joined a walking group which has been great! I try to keep active when low.. walking does raise my mood.
I send back bad feelings I am suffering to WAH.. visualising them as funny objects.. like bags of tears.. or anvils.. and send them in my mind crashing back to WAH! It does get rid of the worst.The more control the better I find.
