Hi JL, Can I say thast I totally understand your loss of confidence with H's rejection.. I had same.. H no love or sexual interest in me, discard me just like that.. in hours,.. after 33 yrs married! I had a bit of a makeover with a great friend..charity shop clothes,new makeup.. new hair cut from friend.... nothing wild but for once I really got a style that suits me,for me! You need to accept it as your H problem this lack of passion not yours! He has a major workaholic ethos and addiction it feels like.A substitute for security and relaxed affection, from his damaged background. He knows his way round work.. feels safe and secure, can achieve perhaps so trusts it, like no human at present. You need to try to get more in control with your emotions so they do not limit your life. You are going through what I am too.. a major bereavement.. the loss of your marriage,your hopes,future and dreams.Your loss of feeling H loves You.The intimacy.The loss of the good bit of him. I kept pretty active.. but found that Paul Mckenna's book helped me.. "How to mend your broken heart." Ask me if you want to know more. You have the extra difficulty that your H is around and cramping your style.. also reminding and hurting you.
Desperation is no bad thing.. it drove me too! To get a new tribunal job.. I got it and now have new options in my life! Go for a new career,try to forget H's needs and only concentrate on yours for a wee bit. Get your career plan and applications on line, for finishing your course. I bet that new job when it comes will open up a whole new world for you.. so go out and grab it. Just let your H see that.. go for you and get your life sorted.. not his.. He is responsible as you say for that! So leave him be.. standing on the sidelines while you make the play for your own good life and future.. Alone if need be! Face that.. He may not ever come back for good.. accept that and move on in that understanding, and he will sense it.. your detachment..
It may scare the pants off him.. but you go girl.. get your future for you.. He can tag along and apply to join if he wants.. He has been leaving you tagging for long enough.. do full 180.. let him choose whether to tag or not! It won't make much difference as he will either come back if he is meant to.. or not but at least you will have a good time. Out with as many friends as you can.. ask for folk to go out to cinema,meals etc and H too if he wants ,but don't wait to be asked!!
