H texted me at about 12 midnight (my time) telling me the "groceries" meant as in "buying drinks and chips for munching". But no calls yet. No IM too... I guessed my sh!tty mood is because I had so many horrible dreams last night. Prior to bedtime, have read alot about OW controlling the WAS, and there I was dreaming about the OW controlling my H. And H texting me telling that OW wants to manage his $$ and therefore he can't give me the $ as he had previously promised! I know, I know, it's just a dream but it's got an effect on me though. GOSH... I have to get out of this rut and get back to work!!! I really have to reinstate my PMA. My retail therapy yesterday was fun (bought two spagetti-strap dresses!! - actually I was rather conservative before the bomb)...but the euphoria of shopping didn't carry over to today...*sigh*...Okay Okay...really got to snap out of this! Need to think of happy thoughts!!
Yoyo to use your advice stop obsessing over OW you cannot do anything about it so do not give it your energy and you have no idea what they are doing so don't think about. I know easier said than done but you are the big advocate on not giving the OW our time, thoughts or space so this is a friendly foot up the bottom and saying practise what you preach goddess. Don't backslide you have been doing very very well for a while now dont allow H to see you go back to your old ways. Your new ways had been working you will just push him closer to OW and he is away for 2 weeks make him miss you.......Hope this puts you on track again as you were doing wonderfully well. KDU
I think my brain works too well for my own good. From my last post, H said that he was buying groceries..when he called me at 9.30 pm. H said that he is currently on the west coast of USA, that would make it on Pacific Time, which means it is 6.30 AM!! WTF is he doing up at that time buying groceries? I hate it! He said it's about 9-ish am. He could be holidaying with the OW on the East Coast which makes it 9.30 AM which is a much more decent time to buy groceries. Now, I am dying inside! I did not snoop..I just know the time differences toooooo well. Of course he won't be missing us. He is with her I know he is with her because he did tell me that OW would be going on this trip as well. Sh!T I just didn't know that they would be rendezvouz in another city!!! I really feel like sh!t. I know I am ASSuming alot of things but I think he is lying again. I really feel like crying. I am a disaster at this moment in time. I just want to scream. I have just texted H. No, I sounded normal....asking him about his meetings so far... I didn't let out that I am dying inside and wanting to scream. Why is he doing this??? I just want to kick his ass!! And to think that I went to pay his credit card yesterday with MY money!!! I feel really really like a doormat! I want to cry...gonna go cry now..
I really need to vent here...before I do something stupid and blow everything out of proportion. I have to continue typing until I calm down. No..I have not said anything terrible in my recent text to H. I just have to keep my cool when he next calls. Or maybe I should just avoid his phone calls... Why am I feeling like SH!T??? I feel like throwing the towel..but then again, throwing the towel before I know all the facts is quite stupid, right? GOSH...fellow DBers...wished I could pick up and phone and call you guys... My emotions are yoyo-ing. I really need to detach and not let H affect me anymore. Sh!T this is harder than I thought.....
YOYO HANG IN THERE - You have answered your own question goddess. You are assuming, don't assume. Stop texting him let him contact you....he will to check on the boys, go and do something take your mind off it. Don't undo the good DBing you have been doing of late you really have been an inspiration dont slide you haven't for ages dont let it happen. Come on Yoyo try try no backsliding.....I am kicking your ar$e now but in a really nice way, I understand you feel $hit but you just don't know yet wait until you do our imagination's run wild. Rule with your head not your heart don't listen to instinct remember your conversations with NYS on this....Will check in again real soon just remember what I have said and Goodluck Yoyo and ((((hugs)))))to you. Just keep venting here. KDU
I agree with KDU. You are a much stronger person than you are giving yourself credit for right now. Write down some mini goals like you have in the past to keep yourself occupied. Don't assume anything, this will only make yourself miserable. ((((hugs)))))
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years
Kim, KDK, Anna - Fellow Sister Goddesses...Thanks for kicking my arse! I think I needed it. I felt really terrible yesterday that I went home and cried my eyes out. Had to say that sobbing did make me feel better, plus I had my sister's shoulder to cry on. I didn't attempt to text or call H again. He did call while I was in the shower. Spoke to S8. When I came out of the shower, S8 said that daddy called but line was bad. And I saw H had texted me. He texted that he called but I was in the shower and he's over at A (on the East Coast), and he is going into a meeting now. I don't know anymore...what to believe. So, I won't bash my head trying to analyse or believe or whatever. I should just listen with my left ear, and then out through my right ear. I didn't text back till later...I re-read DR and thought about what I should do... If I don't text back, he will think that I am upset and that will drive him further...So, I picked up my phone and texted him cheerfully.. Told him about S8's call from a girl who is going to be Padme (S8's party theme is Star Wars ) and S8 didn't want us to hear his convo. Also told him about his high school reunion this weekend. In about an hour's after my text, he texted back acknowledging the reunion, and informing me that his meetings officially start today (Tuesday) and will be till next Monday. Not long after this second text, he called me. I tried to sound cheerful and told him about S8, and he said "yeah...I saw your text. Okay. Bye!" It was the shortest phone call ever. He seems like he was in a hurry to go. Oh well...got to stop pondering now... As my friend said "you got to stop thinking about H and start living independently and for yourself!". So, I really have to heed all the advice and GAL and Yes..to start writing down my mini-goals. I think that helped with my GAL and PMA. I don't know if it is too soon to write down action-oriented goals with regards to H at this point in time. I could try I guessed...Let me think and get back...
That's it Yoyo you are slowly coming back to us. Good for you. Just keep doing what you have been b4 H went away and you will soon do his head in. He would have to know that you would be wondering about you as it seems in some ways he is ever so gently baiting you into going off your head and accusing him of something. Just my thought I could be so off track. but by you not reacting to anything you would be making him wonder. Could he be testing you to see if you have really changed so he knows whether to take you with him to his new job????? Just a question something to think about maybe. If you continue to GAL it wont matter which way it goes even though we know which way you want it to go at the moment you cannot control him so don't bother trying. Concentrate on you and the boys.....KDU
he is ever so gently baiting you into going off your head and accusing him of something
I don't think H is deliberately doing this to test me. These things are too unimportant to him to devise a plan to trick me. I guessed if he is lying..it's just it..that he lied.
Anyway, H just called me. I sounded cheerful. He asked about the boys, and also if I sent off his documents for the work permit. We had a short chit chat about the hotel that he is staying, blah blah blah. All and all, I was pleasant enough and we ended the call with a good night greeting from me.
Then, he IMed me. Small talk about all sorts of things - about the boys, about the company car, about lunch today...and then the part about his job in the foreign country. Here is part of our IM Convo: H: I am going to call company X in Country Y at about 1.30. Me: How come Country Y and Not Country P H: Handled by Country Y Me: Anyway, I only sent the docs yesterday. Registered only - not Express. So, don't think they will get it so soon. Maybe about a week. H: should have expressed it, u Me: register already 12 bucks. Express would be over 40 bucks. H: Told them split contract/split family for 6months...I.e till end of year. H:Then will decide.. Me: up to you... H: Very sleepy already. Me: Coworkers waiting for me to go lunch. good night. talk to you tomorrow H: Bye
What do you guys think about the part whereby H mentions about the contract, and the part "then will decide.." I don't want to read too much. But he means decide if he wants us to go with him or decide if he still wants the family? *sigh*
Really need to GAL and not have my M bother me too much.
I guessed I should be HAPPY that : - I kept my cool - I sounded cheerful - I didn't sound like I want to kill him (ha ha ha) - I ended the IM session first - H called me - H IMed me - H did tell Company X the possibility of family joining him in six months - H mentioned that he may be able to make it back to S8's birthday party (fingers crossed)
I guessed my short term action-orientated goals would be: - H calling me at least once a day - H really able to make it for S8's party
medium term action-orientated goals - H happy to see me on his return from his trip, and initiate s@x (oops...don't want to sound like a nympho) - H asking me for my opinion about his apartment/house in the foreign country - H asking us about our visits to the foreign country
Need to work on my GAL...Have joined a gym but not really been there...so, perhaps got to start there??
I guessed my sh!tty mood is because I had so many horrible dreams last night. Prior to bedtime, have read alot about OW controlling the WAS, and there I was dreaming about the OW controlling my H. And H texting me telling that OW wants to manage his $$ and therefore he can't give me the $ as he had previously promised! 
I know, I know, it's just a dream but it's got an effect on me though. GOSH... I have to get out of this rut and get back to work!!! I really have to reinstate my PMA. My retail therapy yesterday was fun (bought two spagetti-strap dresses!! - actually I was rather conservative before the bomb)...but the euphoria of shopping didn't carry over to today...*sigh*...Okay Okay...really got to snap out of this! Need to think of happy thoughts!! 
) and S8 didn't want us to hear his convo. Also told him about his high school reunion this weekend. In about an hour's after my text, he texted back acknowledging the reunion, and informing me that his meetings officially start today (Tuesday) and will be till next Monday. Not long after this second text, he called me. I tried to sound cheerful and told him about S8, and he said "yeah...I saw your text. Okay. Bye!" It was the shortest phone call ever. He seems like he was in a hurry to go. Oh well...got to stop pondering now... As my friend said "you got to stop thinking about H and start living independently and for yourself!". So, I really have to heed all the advice and GAL and Yes..to start writing down my mini-goals. I think that helped with my GAL and PMA. I don't know if it is too soon to write down action-oriented goals with regards to H at this point in time. I could try I guessed...Let me think and get back... 
(oops...don't want to sound like a nympho)