About your question...whether or not you should offer to lend an eye, say nothing or suggest a pool for the boys when you visit...I'm not sure.
If you OFFER to lend an eye when he chooses an apt/house you can come off looking as a 'friend' to him...and that could be good. As for mentioning the pool for the boys, even if you say it's for when you visit, your H may see it more that you want to come with him, and then he might get freaked. So it could go either way, and b/c it can maybe it is better not to say anything...wait to see if he'll ask for your opinion or if he wants you to go look with him when he chooses. If u say nothing then it also forces him to do it all himself, make choices on his own ( at a time when he is still confused and can't make any choices )...which might definately have him knocking on your door for advice or help, ...and that's when u can shine. From what I've seen so far with WASs on this BB, when you really give them their independence, freedom to make thier own choices...reality kicks in that they're alone and then they miss you.
Months ago when I let my H move out and go to OW, he did ( his choice ). Then came back begging to talk, and said " you gave me my freedom and all I could do was think of you the whole weekend ( he was miserable around OW ) "...he came running back. The only problem when that happened was after he came back he went back to his old self, in his comfort zone....live with me and still see me, but run off with OW when he wants to. So BIG guarantee that when I leave for good he'll be more miserable than ever!
Leave your H to make his own choices...and it's a gaurantee that he'll still turn to you. Better that he turns to you then you help him first.
