I am not sure that I am the best person to comment but I am going to give it a try. At the very least, you will be able to say, 'heck no, at least I know what is not a good answer'.
Quote: Is living day-to-day (happily, not sulking) part of DBing?
I think the answer is yes. Definitely the overall aim is to achieve a happier life. And, what is the point of sulking? Can you imagine if we had to live with someone who was constantly sulking, no matter what we've done? I would go ballistic. I mean, no matter what I've done, I would find it hard to feel guilty or bad all the time about what I've done in the face of constant sulking. Plus, the one sulking ends up feeling horrible about themselves and precious time is wasted. Time that could be used doing something nice, fun, good. Who knows what lies around the corner? I've come to believe that every moment should be lived to its fullest. (if only my actions could mirror my beliefs, but that's a different point. This is about you, Yoyo lady! )
Quote: Is not mentioning about H leaving, part of DBing
Again I think, yes, if you have decided that you want to be married to H and that you are DBing to save your M, then, strongly recommend: do not mention H leaving, why put ideas in his head. Saying that comes to mind, 'let sleeping dogs lie'. If he wants to leave, let it be his decision. This is a confusing time for the WAS, why add to the pressure?
Quote: Is waiting (quietly, not voiced out to H) for H to choose either the family or OW, part of DBing
I think, here, i've seen different people choose differently here. Maybe a re-read of the chapter on infidelity in the DR would shed some light here.
I am going to be on the board on and off most of the day, so if you want really bad advice, give me a shout.
Take care, one day at a time and it will get better.
)
