Okay...from my last post, I said H was going away on Friday. I have to say that backslid BAD on this day. I confronted him with his lies about going away for an interview on his birthday, where he met up with the OW. I know I am definitely not practicing what I preached. What drove me with the insanity??? Few things that he told me didn't match up. And I started investigating..calling up the hotel that he said that he would be staying, checking flight arrival details through the internet blah blah. I called him, and the phone was picked up, there were background sounds but not H's voice...I went "hello? hello? hello? " and then I heard a woman said to H "its your house" ...So, can you imagine it" I had to ask him why he lied? And how stupid of him to let OW answer his phone...He actually cut the line, and when I called him later, he didn't bothered to pick up my phone. I know I know...this is REAL ANTI-DBing...but I admit, I did go wild abit!! Or rather alot!! H was supposed to be back by Saturday evening..but mid-day Sat, he sent me a message and told me that he won't be back on Sunday. And on Sunday mid-day, he called me and said that he is in the office working. (yeah right!)
Sunday, had the planned dinner with my MIL and SIL. Both felt rather uneasy. And H did too. No conversation...very awkward. Anyway, after dinner MIL went up to talk to H. Well..well, he is still with the OW. All those "breaking-business" are all lies. MIL continued to lecture him, threatening to disown blah blah, and he was upset and angry. (I knew because MIL had a long chat over the telephone later..when H went out...to work..- yeah right again!!)Anyway, he came back...I was getting ready to go to bed and H came by and asked "So, what's with us?" to which I answered "you should be the one telling me, isn't it?" Well...again, we had a long long chat. I have to say that I am handled the discussion really well, even when H raised his voice, I kept cool. I just told him to do me favour and stop fu@king with my heart blah blah blah. I don't know what happened but we ended up having s@x It's sooo weird and I have to say that I was kinda using him as well???? Anyway, I was feeling so weird that I started teasing him jokingly about us, about his b$t@h...and he commented that I could be quite sacarstic. I have to admit that I was, and was actually having fun doing it. H said that "I want to move out." and I said "up to you. You are an adult. Nobody can force you to do whatever you don't want to" blah blah blah...then he asked me "what would be least painful thing for you? the easiest?" and I answered "I am not going to answer that question. I am not going to make the decision for you. Whatever you decide, it's your own decision, and I will know what to do after you've decided". He still maintained that he did go away on Friday and not with the OW and why no-one believed him. I said you have been deceitful for so long, trust needs to be earned. He also said that he still wants to try to work in a different country, to get away , to be alone and maybe he would come to his sense,..maybe he may decide that OW is all worth it. He feels that if he stays put, he will definitely choose OW. So, there. I told him "up to you!".
So...for me to be able to survive this insanity. I am going to continue to have PMA and GAL. I will continue with my DBING for my children's sake. I have decided to stop loving this man. But to just see him as: 1) father of my boys 2) s@x toy 3) financial provider
I will no longer expect him to be a husband. I will no longer expect him to "come" back. I will no longer wonder about H and the OW. I will really really live my life for myself and my boys (previously, I think I was kidding myself, and was DBing for H's sake)
Other notes..as part of my 180s...GOSH..I went clubbing on Saturday night with the gals, and I got a tattoo on my butt on Sunday!! A little butterfly...he he he...
I have to say that I feel kinda great. Don't think that I am in denial...but a little bit of excitement...cause my MIL has been soooo great and funny. She actually said "You need someone from the opposite sex to help you through this, to get over H. Problem is you are so homely. But don't worry, I will try to keep a look-out for you for established gentlemen that you can go out with!" Gosh...talk about broad-minded!!! She really understood the difficulties because of my FIL's numerous infidelities...
Okay....later guys and gals...
p/s H saw my tattoo...and I teasingly said "Let's see how many lucky guys will get to see it!"
Hey YOYO- Yes your link worked......My goodness don't we all go up and down. What a difference a couple of days makes. On Friday I checked in on you and it was like you were having such a great time with H that you didn't have time to post. Then today Monday it's all turned to cr@p. Amazing......I love the fact that you went and got a tat.....Good on you just like Anna and her tatt. What did H say when you said let's see who gets to see it and how did H see it? Or was that the last ML session Or maybe he was your sextoy again . I am the same YOYO I have to sit back and wait for H to make up his mind about us on his time in his way and stuff what I want or think. That is the hard part but I am going to do much the same. GAL and use him for s#x when I want not when he wants . So looks like we are in similair positions at the moment. Kim xxx
Well, he saw the tattoo yesterday when we ML. He sort of kept quiet when I made the comment about the lucky guys who get to see it. Geez...these men are so undecisive..and confused...GOSH...
Now with my focus switching back to me and the boys, I am having problems defining my mini-goals. Prior to last weekend, my mini-goals all centred around H. Now, I am not too sure how to define my mini-goals...Sure, I am GAL for myself. Going ahead with a dinner with my MIL/SIL tomorrow night. Informed H about the dinner and he said he will be there. Pre-last weekend, I would have stated "H attending dinner with MIL/SIL" as my mini-goal. But I can't do that now, right? That wouldn't be focussing on myself...So, I am rewording...
1) Tuesday: Having a fun night with MIL/SIL and boys (MIL paying...goody!) 2) Wednesday: Company dinner at a cosy restaurant. Will socialise with foreign co-workers. Flirt. Have fun! (Company paying...goody!) 3) Thursday: Bowling Outing with co-workers after work. Show-off my bowling skills....(Boss paying. Goody!!) 4) Saturday: Mental and physical wellbeing at YOGA. 5) Saturday: Lunch with girlfriends...
SO...this week, mini-goals of GAL are achievable!
p/s Tattoo....sisters chipping-in to pay for it...as my early birthday present. Goody....
H has been really slack in paying me the household $$$. He is still in the house and I don't see the dough. Can you imagine the hassle when he has moved out?? Gosh..really need to get a GOOD L.
Sorry to hear things turned for the bad. WTF is up with our Hs? It sounds like your are turning a negative into a positive for yourself and your boys. It's good that you have your MIL on your side. Love your mini-goals and sounds like you are going to have a good time.
So happy that you finally got your tatt. I'm thinking about getting a new one for myself.
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years
Good one YOYO - This is the best you have sounded during a re-evaluation period. You go girl you are doing well. Hey stuff the H look at the reaction your tatt has had on the board so it was bound to have got H thinking.....Good mini-goals, keep going the way you are and enjoy flirting, I like that idea, it will make you feel good about yourself if someone else flirts back and for god's sake it is only flirting go YoYo and have fun that is your best weapon, to have fun instead of moping around. I am proud of you
Yo-Yo I like the whole tatoo thing! lol! I've thought about it but havent been brave enough yet. It almost seems I went the opposite direction and removed my belly ring a few months ago.
But it does seem your making the best you can out of the worst. Hang in there girl!
It's sooo weird and I have to say that I was kinda using him as well???? Anyway, I was feeling so weird that I started teasing him jokingly about us, about his b$t@h...and he commented that I could be quite sacarstic. I have to admit that I was, and was actually having fun doing it. H said that "I want to move out." and I said "up to you. You are an adult. Nobody can force you to do whatever you don't want to" blah blah blah...then he asked me "what would be least painful thing for you? the easiest?" and I answered "I am not going to answer that question. I am not going to make the decision for you. Whatever you decide, it's your own decision, and I will know what to do after you've decided". He still maintained that he did go away on Friday and not with the OW and why no-one believed him. I said you have been deceitful for so long, trust needs to be earned. He also said that he still wants to try to work in a different country, to get away , to be alone and maybe he would come to his sense,..maybe he may decide that OW is all worth it. He feels that if he stays put, he will definitely choose OW. So, there. I told him "up to you!". 
Or maybe he was your sextoy again 
