Hi Gabe, Swimmer... It's a Friday night and I'm sitting at home after doing a bunch of chores today and hanging out with friends at the lodge. My XW's birthday is next Tuesday so I picked up a small present and a blank card - no pre-printed cards for exwives, can you imagine?
Anyway, I mentioned that I had picked out something for her birthday and all of the guys were shocked. I explained that it was just to show her that I remembered and it was sort of a peace offering. I'm not angry or bitter any longer. I just wish it never happened but it did. Some of my friends just can't understand I guess.
My kids came over last night and we ate dessert together. I had turkey with friends in the afternoon and my buddy's wife is an excellent cook so dessert really wasn't what I was looking for. However, it was with my kids so what the heck. D18 brought her BF with her - he is kind of a drip, but she loves him so I keep my mouth shut. My boys came too and so we ate and played cards. They brought a pile of turkey and stuffing and two pies! I couldn't eat all of that stuff in a week! Have no idea why XW bought such a large turkey, the kids and MIL and SIL would never have been able to eat all of that. Plus she is taking the kids to visit friends down on the gulf so she had to know they wouldn't be home to eat the leftovers. However, she always did a good job on Thanksgiving and I'm going to appreciate the lefovers.
I missed turkey day with the family but I managed. At the lodge tonight I also got grilled about what I was doing for Christmas and New Years. I have to tell you that I have some very good friends - they are all checking and making sure I'm not alone on these holidays. Really, I'm not hurting that badly, I'll be O.K. whatever. I might work "security" at one of the New Years Eve parties - I can make some much needed "cash under the table" and keep occupied too.
O.K., so I've been working on some goals. Frankly, I don't know how good my chances are, but I want XW back. I'm laying back right now, giving her space and no pressure. Haven't talked with her in over a month. I txt'd her a thankyou for the leftovers, no response but I didn't expect one.
Oh one other thing. Since XW never could handle typical spicy and tomato"y" Italian food, I've been cooking with D18 and passing on family recipes. She took a part-time job at a new Italian restraunt in town. I stopped for lunch today and the owner stopped to talk. "Oh, you're 'D18' father. She is so sweet and she told us how you make your tomato sauce and how good it is." I started to speak but he continued "We do it the traditional way at home too, but when it has to stay warm for hours we modify it a little to preserve it." We talked food for a while and then my meal came and he excused himself. When I was leaving he waved to me and came over, asked how I liked my lunch (I really need his recipe for Tuscan Sun Dried Tomato Soup, it was excellent!). As I was going out the door he said "You have a very sweet daughter", I said "I'm a lucky guy". He said "Yes, but she's a lucky daughter, you did it right." MAN! I gained 2 inches in my chest and must have smiled and glowed all the way to the truck. But you know I didn't do it alone. XW is an excellent mom, I just wish I had been smart enough to see the signs and correct our issues before they became mountains.
