You can address the incorrect things that were on your wife's petition without lashing back at her. You have a say on how aggressive your lawyer gets. Don't stoop to her and her lawyer's level. You have positives going for you and you should accentuate these positives in your response. I don't think you necessarily want to do a smear campaign on your wife. If you respond harshly with criticisms of your wife on paper it doesn't matter whether you tell her in advance or let her read it for herself you will have kept the negative ball rolling. Once you start throwing criticisms back and forth you might as well kiss your chances at reconciliation goodbye. If you just want a fair settlement then say so in your response. The judge will listen to something reasonable.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
