Quote: plan to call the counselor tomorrow and see if she can suggest someone for W to visit. Then I just have to convince her it is a good idea.
Don't do it. Your W will come to the decision to go to counseling or not on her own. If you start giving her names and trying to talk her into it you won't get anywhere. Take UDs advice and lay low and DB without pressure.
There is a undercurrent on all of this bb that counseling is some kind of cure all for the walk away. "If only I could get them to listen". I see that everywhere on here...I do not believe for one second that there is a miraculous quick fix that is going to set everything right. There is no "waking up". I bet you that your wife thinks that she is actually "awake" for the first time in years and it feels good to stand up for herself.
I would argue that at this stage when your W is angry and determined that counseling does more harm than good. I think there are two possibilities: 1) The counselor will take the pro-marriage side...to which she'll feel invalidated by the C and say "C just doesn't understand what I've been through" or it will just be more pressure, and then the WAW will quit going
or 2) the C will validate that your WA has a legitimate excuse for leaving and indicate the M is doomed. She'll feel better about her decision.
Either one of those sound attractive? Or do you think your W will go to C..vent all the reasons she's angry at you...the terrible things you've done to her all her life (including before you even met her)...and then just say "I feel better now...I love you so much...let's reconcile!!". That seems the least likely to me.
Okay, maybe I'm jaded, but C at this point is mainly to help you.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
