Something struck me today. My W is clinging to her pain like it were some theraputic device to cleanse her of a demon. She is holding on to her anger with me for things I didn't do or that she expected me to do but failed. This is almost like she is building a case for the D in spite of the fact that many of her complaints are based on faulty assumptions. "Don't confuse me with the facts". It is apparent that giving her proof that her assumptions are in error just dirves her further away. Meanwhile, as an engineer, I am wired to demand that things be correct and fit the correct pattern. Let me tell you, that is a serious handicap in dealing with my W.
Within a week of her dropping the bomb I went to counseling and begged her to go as well. I plan to call the counselor tomorrow and see if she can suggest someone for W to visit. Then I just have to convince her it is a good idea. Suggestions:
