Sorry for your situation. We'll do our best to answer. At least we're all in the same situation....or most of us are...divorced or soon divorced.
Quote: So, fellow DB'rs, how are you handling the sitch after D? Are you still trying to win back you S or have you given up? Anyone see any success stories that yield even a ray of hope
The decision to quit on this has been available to you since she dropped the bomb. You chose to DB and the divorce apparently wasn't busted. There is an undercurrent in this area of the bb that our WAS sees D as a remedy, a relief, something that HAS to be done for their independence. The result is what matters, not the effect of their actions. Quite a few of us have found that once the D has been finalized, especially if you handle it well, that our ex-spouse may be even more open than before. It is in fact easier sometimes to DB when the pressure has been released. They can see your actions as genuine. And it's easier on you...you no longer have to worry about being divorced because you are. By continuing to DB you have nothing to lose.
Every other week or so I say I've given up, but I'm faithfully here most days. That's what this place is for. At the very least we can offer support when you're down or a different perspective on what you are feeling/seeing. But this board is for those who refuse to give up the ghost. The fact that you even posted on this site indicates to me that you belong. Many on here have pessimism mixed with hope.
So what do you want to do? Divorce is not the end all. It can be the start of a new better R. Really what you want is a R with your wife, right? Your hope was that D wouldn't happen, but it's just a piece of paper saying you're not married, doesn't say anything about having a continuing R that can eventually become a new M.
Btw, why do you have to leave the house? She's wants a D, why doesn't she move out?
In response to the last question. There is a thread called piecing after D started by JJ that has a success story. And if you check on my thread you can see a story from this morning of getting back together after D. This could be a long process though.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
