You are right - it would be insane to have to hide behind a facade of married bliss at work everyday, especially as we work at the same place.
Quote: H believes his whole R with Ow is dependent on lies and secrecy. He feels incredibly threatened by any possibility of exposure. So he lashes out at you when he gets scared that the A might come to what to him would be a premature end.
What you say here seems exactly the case. H is scared not because the A might come to an end but because he is not ready for the changes that are coming and this is so threatening to him that he lashes out at me in ways that have been comfortable and have worked in the past.
It's incredible but he does not seem to connect my decisions as a result of his choices. His apparent tunnel vision seems naive at times and irresponsible at others. It's hard to be understanding at these times.
Burgbud, I have been following your situation and feel that you are incredibly grounded and centered. This is a great frame of mind to have especially in the situations all on this board find ourselves in.
