NY, I have missed your thoughts on my sitch - so, thank you from the bottom of my heart for responding.
Quote: Maybe... and you will know it when that's the case, because you will be feeling like that and only like that for some time and it will become obvious to you and in that day you'll probably find you haven't been thinking about H for some time and it will feel nice and right, IMO.
I am begining to feel that maybe H and I are just not good for each other. What I am not sure is if this is because he is in ow's country and this is my typical knee-jerk reaction: 'oh well, you cant say you dont love me, because I say it first'.
I found an email in his inbox (before you judge, please let me say I was only trying to keep my eyes and ears open). It was a simple forward from one of his friends, however it was cc. to my H and another person whose username is exactly the one that ow uses with only an extra letter added and this letter is the initial of the pet name she gave my H.
The next day this email was deleted.
Now, isnt this too co-incidental?
I guess, there isn't much I can do except wait and see what happens when he gets back. The problem is I know exactly what's going to happen - he will go back to work the next day, continue working until 9.00 or 10.00 all in the name of this lecture he is to give and the research progect he had a deadline for. On weekends, our lives will be filled with grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry. That is, no change. And I cant complain because I know that it is vital that he prepare really well for both the lecture and the research project (except that a part of me suspects that he uses this as an excuse to continue communicating with ow and avoid interacting with me - this is what he has been doing since the A started). Are any changes in this possible?
NY, there is a lot more in your post that I would like to think about before I can respond. But, once again, thanks, your comments always present an extra dimension.
