I felt this way too; I'm sure all HD spouses feel this to some extent. I believe that you are holding on to the resentment started from the last pullback, and you are using this as your motivation to punish her (by withholding compliments and your desire and your sexuality) while simulataneously being the "good roommate" and all around good guy, so that she can't complain about it.
It is passively aggressive and is keeping you stuck. It almost seems as if you like this stagnation--cause you know it is punishing her--more than you fear the idea of tackling things once and for all. Like there are two scenarios and they both suck, but you will choose the one that punishes her because she caused it all to happen
Good god, Smartypot, you are one wise woman. I think you are exactly right.
So now what? I AM staying for the sake of the kids, and because it's comfortable, and because I also worry about what my W would do if we ever did divorce. I honestly worry about her sanity sometimes.
And what exactly do you mean by:
Quote: I just think that you would be a happier man if you could have the type of life where no one is punishing and the "surface" marriage matches the internal one.
