Once again....that's what we had experienced. In the past my H when we'd try to be intimate would do things like tickling me which just irritated the crap out of me...talk about a mood killer. I would tell him it irritated me, but he'd do it anyway.....it would remind me sooo much of a boy picking on a girl he liked but was too shy to tell her. In reality it was that nervous discomfort you're talking about....and I know that now.
He was so uncomfortable being with a woman who really wanted him that he didn't know how to act...it made him uncomfortable due to his past conditioning. To his credit once again though...he's working through that and doing much, much, MUCH better! It's a slow process...but he's learning to do the type of physical touch/affection that I need. On my side (since it's never a one-sided thing) I'm learning to give him the verbal affirmations he needs.....and the non-verbal affection (snuggling) he needs as well.
I've found now....we are at a much different place. No, we may not ML nearly as often as I'd really like but "WE" are in a healthier place in our M. We are ML more than we had in the past, not by leaps and bounds...but definitely more....and with time I am confident that will increase as well.
