Well, I suppose because I have never been, historically speaking, the sexual aggressor of the R. That was always his role. Then he emotionally abandoned me as he was going through his self-titled vocational crisis. During the time that we were actively repairing our M, as opposed to what we are doing now which I would categorize as purposeful maintenance, I was the sexual aggressor. We were getting things "back on track".
I foolishly ASSumed that this meant we were going back to the way things were before the vocational crisis. He chalked most of his behavior up to the VC, as well as the changes caused by our 3 children, so I added the un-said part: ....so now that the VC is taken care of, and the children are, well, here and we are in a routine with them, we will hereafter go back to the traditional gender roles with which we both entered this R.
He, I'm thinking, had his own un-said amendment which went something like: Now that I have seen how aggressive she can be, I like it and it takes away a responsibility that I never cared for, anyway. So she can have it! Gosh DARN my life is good.
(ok I added that last part )
So that's my answer.
P.S. SD, I have been reading up on your thread, learning all the players' names and just what in the hay-ell is going on in your life. As soon as I feel I have it all straight, I will commence my usual butt-in-age.
P.P.S. Hairy, I did not take photos as I figured this would encourage more of the same behavior. Alas, she drew on her leg with a green marker not 3 hours later so I shoulda just taken the pics! She is being SUCH a handful lately. H doesn't know what to do with her but she is a spitting image of him--both in looks and personality--so I don't feel too sorry for him.
)
