Hi HP... I am pretty much at the same place you are. My energy and enthusiasm over this marital project has dimmed, but I am not in a sad, resigned place; it's more like I feel realistic and accepting. We've gone from an awful sex life throughout most of the marriage to a stable, good one, so I put that in the success column. I've gotten back my individual sensuality and can see more clearly why it disappeared in the first place. I do feel a personal responsibility to keep that going, and I have learned a lot about marital responsibility. Our relationship can only move forward now if my H shows interest, on his own, to grow sexually. He gets what I like now, an assertive approach, and I am so happy to have figured this out and communicate this to him. He has responded, in kind, to the degree that he wants to, which seems to be, " I'll do what I can to keep her happy and not leave, but that's all I need to do."
We are excited for my daughter to come home on Saturday....we've been talking a lot about her ( her letters still reflect her rebelling against the fun she could be having in a passive-resistance way). My H really does see this trait in himself...has talked about his 2 gf's before me who dumped him bc he was so ambivalent. With me, the stakes are higher, and it's given him the motivation to make this work, but I can't continually be in a position to do the heavy PM/setting boundaries type stuff. My work now will be focused on maintaining what we have, which is far better than getting exhausted and burning out.
Well, I went on and on about me...just wanted to let you know I can relate to what you said in your post. I am going to continue journaling on this BB.
