Ditto to HD and JJ- Last night when I was really getting frustrated over his NOT calling the therapist when he has said it's something he wanted to do and will do, just not on MY schedule... this big Laht Bub (as we say in the South) appeared over my head and I realized that in his mind, the fact that I want him to do something is a necessary and sufficient condition for him NOT to do it, even if it's something he was planning on doing anyway!
What kind of a R is it when party A cannot ask for something because that is the one way to ensure that party B will not do it?
But cosmically speaking this does tie in perfectly with an insight I had with a therapist on my own several months ago where I realized that as a small child, I made the decision not to ask for things because I realized that when my parents found out I wanted something, then that thing immediately went on the Not for Christmas list. This is really interesting... I had this same feeling with my first husband in my early 20's... as soon as he determined that something was important to me, he'd be dammed sure that was one thing he would not do or value. This doesn't apply across the board, even now, because there are clearly many areas my bf and I agree on. But there are some pretty important things that are red-hot with respect to this topic. Must ponder...
