Quote: ...here you've got a guy who has his hands on my *****, he is hard, we are not tired, we have a strong EC from talking, we are both naked.
This is pretty mind boggling... just as mind boggling as a couple of years ago, we were out here at my house, no one around for miles. I was sitting on a swing and bf walked over. I unzipped him and proceeded to suck him. He was enjoying it, making the appropriate noises and saying, "Gee, babe, that feels real good," etc. Then after a few minutes he pulls out, zips up, and goes back to working in the yard. No further interest for the rest of the afternoon or that night, either.
I agree with the discussion about LD/HD having to do with the way you identify yourself. My bf had some skewed sexual stuff around him when he was growing up and I know he made a conscious decision not to be like other guys. He prides himself on not being a typical guy. He was a SAH dad when his kids were little, he cooks, he loves to shop, and yet he projects such an aura of masculinity that people who know us would be stunned if they knew there's zero in the bedroom. I think I've established that he's not gay... although I know that gay men came on to him when he was a teen... one of them was an uncle. Anyway, I think he looked around and saw that Sex spells Trouble with a capital T and decided to exercise extreme control... similar to Honey's H. He decided he just wasn't going to be the so-called typical guy who's always after pu$$y. And now that's part of his identity that's set in concrete. Someone hand me a stick of dynamite!
Regarding the W who ignored her H at the pool: I think IHJ referred to this, but I also believe there should be a certain "level of civility" in a home. Which means that you greet people when you come in and say goodbye when you leave, with a hug or kiss if appropriate. That you eat some meals together sitting at the table and you usually don't get up and leave if someone is still eating. That you never call each other names or use the "f-word" AT each other, no matter HOW heated the argument gets. (You can say, "That f-head cut me off in traffic today!" but you can't say, "YOU are a f-head!") To ignore your partner, spouse, or even roommate when they come home or show up where you are is soooo rude and mean. I think when you start to drop below this level of civility, it creates a... searching for the right words... low-class, crude, disrespectful, and actually unkind emotional atmosphere in the house and it's bad for everyone.
