ZB, I don't think my H thinks it "needs" to be locked up on the shelf--he prefers it that way.
WHY I don't know. I could say it's none of my beeswax, but of course it is since how he views himself affects the quality, frequency, and 'tone' of our sex life.
Lemme ask you this: Does your wife have low self esteem in general? MrHP does and I believe that this greatly contributes to his sexuality. His drive is not all that low (though lower than mine) but he has NO confidence. Even before job interviews he wants me to coach him and help him figure out what to say, etc. Now I've never worked a day in my life in his field. Everything I know about manufacturing has come directly from his mouth. But he wants me to help him! I detest this quality. My confidence is not over the moon but neither do I have this mental picture of myself as a loser type person. It's frustrating.
So a big portion of his hangups (if you wanna call them that) hinge on: Why would she find me sexy. Why would she want this. etc etc ad nauseum.
However, I should say here that H and I have been banded together like crazy lately. Tons of affection and closeness. Spending time together..more accurately, him wanting to be with me, no matter what time it is and what's going on w/ the kids. We are talking and sharing and enjoying the heck outta each other. There is not much more sex going on, but I'm SO enjoying the rest of it.
