Quote: I don't understand LD/ED guys! Why can't they just snuggle really affectionately and based on your passion or lack make their advance contunue or cool off at that point. Sigh really big sigh!
My bf and I had an angry conversation about this Monday. This is the way I think it is for him (and possibly for other guys who suffer from recurring ED): The ED makes him feel absolutely repulsive, undesirable, unattractive.
I think it is similar to the way some of the wives on this board (wives of the guys who post) who are overweight and can't believe their husbands would want to ML with them. They just feel so unattractive, gross, disgusting... they do not want to be reminded of their unattractive bodies by having a sexual encounter. I'm not talking about a woman who is 10, 20, or even 30 pounds overweight. I mean someone who was ~120 in college and now weighs way over 200. Whose belly hangs down over a crease... who can't even get into her fat clothes any more... THAT'S the way my bf feels about himself when he experiences ED.
The husband of an obese woman can say, "Honey, it's YOU I love... I want to express my love for YOU," but she feels that her body is so repulsive, she cannot accept his words. When I said to my bf, "The E doesn't have to be the centerpiece of the ML session," he replied as though I had totally disregarded his feelings and didn't care a bit about how upset the ED makes him. Just as the obese woman might reply, "You don't understand! I can't let you see me looking like this! I'm so disgusted with my body-- no one could want to ML to me."
