I would like to opine that anger management is not the same as anger elimination. At times, anger is downright necessary. Nevertheless, when I started to see that W and I were almost always angry at each other, I saw that something had to change.
I beleive that the best way to manage anger is to unwind onesself. Right now, as I happily type away, I am relaxed, so it is unlikely that anything could send me into a fury. Nevertheless, infuriating events can occur at nearly any time. Whether such events can have the effect of inciting an angry response is primarily a function of my tightness just before the event.
For example, the other night, my W said something about wanting to move to the suburbs. I have been resisting such a move for years due to the fact that it would greatly increase the length of my daily commute. I shot back at her that her comment was BS, yadda, yadda. I had been tight, tighter than I even realized. Immediately I wished I hadn't said it. But W was calm so she let it go. Later that night, she stayed up talking past 1:30, and it finally dawned on me that she might like to ML. And we did!
Do I have a point here? Maybe it is that it takes two to tangle, and if you have deposits in the emotional bank, then the occasional outburst can be forgiven.
