I'm slow to the party, but this is a story I understand all too well...
I've read a few books on anger, as I've been told all along that I "have anger issues". Huh? If they weren't doing things that didn't pi$$ me off, I wouldn't get angry!
Seriously, I did start this tutorial with Harriet Lerner's The Dance of Anger. Very good read. Then one day, my adopted mom walked into my office unannounced and set down a CD set on my desk. She quickly turned around to exit and looked back at me and said, "Let's talk when you're done."
It took a few weeks for me to listen. BTW, you can buy them at a reasonable price at Fr. Allender's website. I've recommended them to other folks here and I have to tell you that nothing (and I mean nothing) educated me like this set. Each CD is an hour long. Not preachy and although the seminar is given to a group of Catholics, it's not a Catholic subject IYKWIM?
The seminar is co-chaired with a married father who knows what our paths are like. It was the best $35 investment I ever made. Bar none.
To sum it up? (And I love this saying so much that it's tattooed on my brain now.) ANGER IS ABOUT HOW I FEEL, NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING OR SAYING.
D11 has told me countless times since then that I've made incredible progress on this front. Once you realize why you are angry, you can better handle how you choose to react.
Hope this helps. And if you want to chat about it offline, feel free to e-mail me at underdog_dbatyahoodotcom.
Hugs!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
