My H finally agreed to counseling, but doesn't seem happy about it. In the waiting room he said he didn't know why he was there, but he stayed. In counseling he said he resigned to be by himself and that he doesn't know what feelings he has for me...but sure love isn't one of them. What do I take from this? Last Thursday, after returning home from a client dinner, he woke me up to tell me that 1) He wanted to acknowledge our 10th anniversary. 2) He wanted me to know that he has not cheated on me, and doesn't intent to. 3) He is hurting too and is doing what ever he can to preoccupy his time, i.e. working out and going to work alot. 4) That "things have to change" and that is why he agreed to go to counseling.
Now, I'm confused after the first session. He did agree to continue counseling, but made it clear he is skeptical that anything is going to change.
The therapist seems really great. She is pro-marriage an pro-searching every avenue to make it work before divorce.
She also stated that its possible that my H does still love me but that is so deeply embedded in his anger, that he doesn't know its there. I believe this is possible, as I know I have felt this for my H. But it never lasted 3 months! Any men out there with advice and words of wisdom to help me understand how men respond to hurt and anger like this.
Also, I need some support to keep DBing. I backslid on Sunday by searching his laptop and then accusing him of going on match.com, which he denies, and was really quite pissed at me about.
I really need some words of wisdom and encouragement, as our counseling session left me with more questions than answers.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin.
