It's unlike you to be up this late. Are you waiting for OCKim like I am? . Sounds like you are doing better. I can tell this when you finish your posts without asking questions.
Well H called a few times yesterday and last night. He had to work a lot but wanted to wish me a good night. He said that he thinks that our M will work out and we can be happy. I am still trying not to take this as real because I don't feel like being slapped in the face again. I am trying to stay strong and logical. H called again this morning at 530a to let me know that he worked 17 hours yesterday....Wooooo Hoooo! lol! He said that he was going to bed and he would talk to me this afternoon. I said okay have a great sleep. H is acting different....more friendly towards me and starting to call more again....I havent taken all of his calls though. I dont want to fell as if I am the rebound from his fantasy relationship or that he can think that he has me wrapped around his pinky. I am so tempted to ask if he has communicated with the OW but I know that would help out this situation at all. I also wanted to ask more R questions but Yeah...I left that alon too! I am doing great D but I must end this with a question. What other things can I do to show that I want us but to show that I dont want to take all of the [censored]? Maybe I am jumping ahead to fast....Yikes this is so confusing...lol!
Quote: . What other things can I do to show that I want us but to show that I dont want to take all of the [censored]?
Might I suggest not taking any of his s**t? If you don't take it, he'll stop giving it. Whenever he tries to dish out some s**t and call it chocolate, walk away, excuse yourself and hang up the phone, politely and indifferently leave the room. He gets no access to you if he doesn't treat you with kindness.
Have you ever had a bad feeling about something? I feel like something is wrong with H right now. H said that he was going to sleep since he worked so much this morning...but I had to call him because he received an important call. Remember he lives with his sister and kids. So when I asked for him at 1130 our niece said that he wasnt home. OW hasnt been online all day long and she is usually all day. Ow lives 2-3 miles from my SIL....I hope that they arent together. Am I jumping to conclusions? If they are together I will be upset but how should I act????? Greatttttt I hate all of the sh*t
If they are together I will be upset but how should I act?????
Well, if H's gonna share himself with the OW, then go ahead and get one of those jobs where you "share yourself" at Fritz.
Just kidding... I dunno, because it depends on your sitch... but I still think that, since most affairs crash and burn sooner or later... then the longer and more contact they have together, the closer they come to their probable demise... just let it crash and burn, and in the meantime, get that life carved out for yourself where H gets the clues that you're moving on.
[quotebut I still think that, since most affairs crash and burn sooner or later... then the longer and more contact they have together, the closer they come to their probable demise
Sorry Michelle, Hijack alert...
NYS... you've left me with some uncomfortable thoughts (which usually mean they're something I don't want to face). I have been comforting myself with the fact that since separation, H has spent very limited time outside of work with OW. They've maintained their lunchtime walk status quo. Is it actually bad that they aren't heating up more? Cuz how can they crash and burn if they don't get off the ground?
Quote: but I still think that, since most affairs crash and burn sooner or later... then the longer and more contact they have together, the closer they come to their probable demise... just let it crash and burn
Yeah, i agree with NYS. After the Bomb Drop, I read something like 12-13 books on infidelity, affairs, divorce etc. They all said the above is true. This is what I force myself to think every time I see them walking into the grocery store. Evertime I get wind that OP's picking up D13 at gymnastics. Every time I hear that D13 is going to "stay at the condo today because she has 'supervision'". Every time I see that damned Silver Impala cruising down the street condo bound (Enough examples?).
Again, someday the dilemma may well be her at the front door..."So let me get this straight, you and the OP are finished? Uh-huh,...And you want to try and start fresh? Right,...And you're sorry and think you need help? OK,...soooo, you want to move back in? Yeah, well, I'm going to have to get back to you on that."
Michelle, if and when that time comes, you may jump into his arms and knock him to the floor and give him 1001 kisses until he almost stops breathing (Wow, that sounds nice...anyway, I digress) or you may say, "Yeah, well, I'm going to have to get back to you on that."
Only you'll know but let it happen. We have to give these things a chance to fizzle out like a cheap side-of-the-road-fireworks-stand fountain. Either they will or they won't. We can't control it.
Mind sharing with us which books you thought were the best reads. That's one area i need to read up on i think...after all isn't that why im in this sitch??duhhhh angelwonder (plus it will give me something to do while i do cardio if no eye candy to watch)
Michelle, just let it crach and burn while you are GAL and having a PMA--something i need to focus in on again a PMA, come and join us on the mountain for some fun.....we all need fun to get us through the hard times.
Well last night was a little rough. I did speak to H and he told me that he went to lunch yesterday....I didnt ask with who...but my heart tells me. Then yesterday I was talking to MIL and she told me that H and SIL hubby got in a fist fight. H called me and told me that SIL hubby was talking sh#t about a lot of things and it came to that. It made me upset because I dont think that it should have come to that. Then H told me that he is going to go to the baseball field (where he plays) and have a beer with his cousin and that he will call me later. Well, of course no call from H. He has been calling me lately and was nice so now that he is grumpy again it is my belief that OW is back in the door. He has had such a mood change...and I think that is why. I feel that if he wasnt with her he would have called. Why cant they end it cold turkey? Why does he tell me its over when it doesnt look like it? I dont know what to do right now....should I ask him about it or just let it eat me up? Answers...answers..answers
I have been comforting myself with the fact that since separation, H has spent very limited time outside of work with OW. They've maintained their lunchtime walk status quo. Is it actually bad that they aren't heating up more? Cuz how can they crash and burn if they don't get off the ground?
Theoretically, if their relationship remains buffered from everyday realities of real life living of relationships with all its ups and downs, then lala land thrives longer because it remains a fantasy and they each approach the other on the best of terms, like when you first date.
I know that bursts your bubble. Still, it's a general rule, but doesn't mean everything always works that way. Who knows what else can happen that may affect your sitch?
As it is, affairs take the amount of time they take, period. It can be three years or more later and there's a midnight phone call, but like Dodger pointed out, you may not want to take the call at that point.
. Sounds like you are doing better. I can tell this when you finish your posts without asking questions.
but SOLID!!