Things went good yesterday while I was at my SIL house for Devins birthday dinner. H kept trying to touch my butt and hug me. Then today he did it again......H wants a divorce, he doesnt love me. What this all about????? While I was leaving last night he started asking about the car again...I guess he is mad because he isnt getting one. So...today he hates me...last night he wrote on my hand that he loved me....we were playing with Hannah and a pen to let her draw...I know so childish but it happened. Like in grammar school he wrote on my hand. Was he nice because he wanted something....did OW get mad because I was with him for Devin's birthday...does he really not love me. Things are so confusing and it drives me crazy. Any opinions out there.
Quote: While I was leaving last night he started asking about the car again...I guess he is mad because he isnt getting one. So...today he hates me...last night he wrote on my hand that he loved me
As I read this, my first really cynical reaction was, 'huh, he's just out to use her'. Then I remembered something my D4 does. When she wants me to do something for her and if I am not in the mood or if she can tell that I am undecided, she says 'mummy, i'll be your friend if you'll ...'. I think maybe your H is just focused on getting the car and is childishly manipulating you to get what he wants and I honestly feel that this manipulation may even be a subconscious effort, and not a deliberate act of using you. However, having said that I dont think you should get him the car. Maybe you need to ask yourself, will buying him a car bring the two of you closer. And take it one step further, if it doesnt take you closer but instead, once he has his car, he forgets about you, how will you feel and will it be worth giving him the car to feel that way?
Darling!! YES I have an opinion! NO CAR! NO CAR! NO CAR! NO CAR!!
Go paint your toenails and Hannah's while you're at it!!! (Avery and I are pink ladies this morning) Find a new festive drink! Decorate your house with flags. Anything to make yourself smile!
I trust that you and Hannah are enjoying each other's company this weekend.
1) You are not dealing with and reeling from your H and his antics. 2) You are DEFINITELY not out car shopping! 3) You are going to enjoy the traditional BBQ meal of Hambugers, Hot Dogs, Potato Salad, Baked Beans, and Apple Pie on this 4th of July evening.
Do they still have fireworks over in Long Beach at the Queen Mary? If they do, GO!! I'm sure fireworks would be a great sensory overload for a 1-year old!
Michelle, I truly wish you a great day today and check in with us soon, you've got a lot of people out here that care about the Hot Little Lady from Lakewood...
Happy Tuesday Everyone.... My weekend was full of things to do. I did take Devin and Hannah with H to Disneyland for Devin's birthday...we had a nice time...not a loving time but it was okay. No R talks. H did hug me a few times and give me a kiss...but I let it go right out of my head. Thank goodness because Saturday he remembered that we were getting along so he decided to let me know that he wanted a D so I said okay...then he was grumpy for awhile and then decided to be nice again. I don't know how to read this but that something is loose in his head...lol! I had plans to go to a bbq yesterday but then H invited his family to my house for the 4th....he said nicely that its his house too! So I ended up being at home....if he wants a D then why did he want to be at the house or did he do it to be mean and ruin things for me????? He saw a boys toy in the front yard and asked if my boyfriend had his kid over....things are childish sometimes. We enjoyed the day and at the end of the night he left with his sister gave me a hug told me that he love me(I am sure as a friend/mother to his daughter)and that he had a really nice time. I feel like he would like to work things out sometimes but then its like he is overcome by a spell and he gets moody. I don't know what is going on but I feel like it is due to the OW....in his head...it was probably driving him crazy that he didnt talk to her because he was with me. What to do now! Yikes!
so you are not alone in this and i actually posted this question awhile ago. i don't know how to link to the thread but the jist of it is guilt.
My W does the same thing where we will have a nice night (like last night at Fireworks) and then the very next day she will call me at work (not be able to get in touch with me because of crappy T-Mobile cell coverage) and leave a message asking me if i am out to lunch with a female and she hopes it is worth it.
Sorry to interject my own story here - but i really think they see that they are having fun and it confuses them - "why if i can have fun and enjoy this persons company am i doing this" when there is no rational answer they either invent one or get [censored]#y about it (my case - at lunch with boss talking work - boss is 58 year old male - not what she was thinking)
keep your head and PMA up and your expectations down - stay strong, from reading your posts you are worth the wait - he will see it eventually - just look for the signs that he has realized it...
Ok....I need some input! I am having a little dilema. I guess that my family knows about my intentions to work things out with my H if things came down to it. My Mother and Father are treating me like sh*t because they feel like I should have already filed for a D. Honestly it is getting really out of hand. I dont speak to them about any of this but my mom likes to pry into things to get information. I am not a little girl anymore but she has called me every name in the book and yells and screams because I am willing to try and accept a man that has done the worse thing in her mind to me. I see where she is coming from a little but I dont know how to stop her from all of her control freak issues. She has come down to getting a copy of my cell phone bill to see how much me and H speak. Then calls everyone that she knows and tells them....then she tells me that we need to sit and talk because she is afraid that I have mental problems. Any sugguestions?
I spoke to H briefly yesterday. No fighting and no in depth talks about anything. I just wish that I knew what was really going to happen with us. I have pulled back a little more and I think that he likes it. I wish that with everything that I am going through that I had my H to support me but I havent told him anything about what is going on...I am not going to look weak to him. Help me I feel like I am ready for a nervous breakdown....SERIOUSLY!
Just wanted to post and say that I am still trying to be strong. H is still being himself(ass) and I think that he knows that I am upset that he would invite his family over for a bbq when he doesn't even live there. One minute he is positive but then for hours later he is mean. I am really getting sick of these feelings. Since H has been gone for three months now I am assuming that he must be happy or content with his new life. I really hope that the OW is as wonderful as he sees her to be....because each day I feel like I am on the brink of insanity and he is happy as can be. Should I just file for D and be done?
I must be tainted....but I am going to type my thoughts anyways....lol!
After reading through a lot of different threads the past few days it made me think about quite a few things... 1) I haven't been able to pinpoint what I did to our M to make it go sour and then I read a post. I may have encouraged him to be on his own...I encouraged him to have hobbies and do things so that he didnt feel so confined. I think that by encouraging him to do things and feel free he may have felt that it was alright to have another woman...maybe he felt to free. 2) Maybe I am still blind to my other actions but I have really been focusing on them. We didnt argue, we had a great sex life, and I felt that we were great companions.
I knew that he was going to lunch with the OW not knowing that she was an OW at the time. I didn't mind because I believed that you trust someone until that trust is broken. H would drive by neighbors and friend with OW in the car and still honk and wave. This made me believe that nothing was going on.
I am trying to pinpoint my errors so that I may grow stronger and not continue doing them over and over again. I need to find an inner peace. I have detached a lot and I am doing my own thing but I can't stop focusing on what I did to make him go to another woman.
