Well I am alive everyone.....lol! I had a nice weekend with Hannah and I was enjoying it. I didn't speak to H on Friday and then at one thirty in the morning on Saturday H text messaged me to let me know that he was home and to wish me sweet dreams. It pissed me off a little because he woke me up and then to let me know that he was home after he partied all night. I did speak to him briefly on Saturday and he told me that he had gone out with one of his guy friends and had a nice time....Good for him! I saw H on Sunday...I think that maybe he thought that he could get a car because he was loving. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted to come home but I keep ruining things. I asked him how....he said that sometimes I get in a frusterated mood and it pushes him away. WTF! I am frusterated...he is sleeping with another woman and I am suppose to always be happy. He said that his mom and sister know that he really wants to come home. Well, that is good that they believe his words...but what about his actions....:-) He also told me that in his head that he doesn't like being married...and sometimes he does. I told him that he should go to someone and talk about it. He said that he doesn't like to talk to people about his life. I feel that he might feel trapped with the word "married" sometimes...that means responsibility....no sleeping with another...taking care of the family. We did get along really well but he was weird about his shirt....I know this sounds weird but OW always marks him on his body/chest and when its like that he is really weird about his shirt moving. I tried to look over that but my heart still hurts. We really got along great and I was happy all night..and then at 1130pm he called me to say good night but was short and blunt. He told me that he had gone to dinner...I didnt ask with who...and now he was really tired and was going to sleep. He was a little rude and then got frusterated when I tried to talk to him for a minute and then he hung up on me....turned off his phone but text messaged me "Go to sleep." WTF I was asleep until he called and ruined it. Please let me know...it sounds like he is really playing mind games. I need a new tactic. I want to be married and happy but I need to be treated good. Any suggestions?
But...more important... Hannah is go great..I kove her so much and she makes my days wonderful. We took pictures yesterday afternoon but I can't see them until today...nothing fancy...just a place in the mall...nothing was planned. I can't wait to see how they turned out. We had a great weekend together and she loves to see the waves come in and try and run from them.
