That's intereseting because when it comes to my folks...mom is the hermit, dad's the socialite. He's told me he feels embarrassed when he goes to things and my mom doesn't want to go. Of course in their situation many of his "events" are religion oriented at the church...even if it is just fellowshipping....but my mom is not religious and is not comfortable in that environment....never has been. My dad has in the last 5-yrs or so rediscovered religion and like everything else has thrown himself into it overzealously....so right now every activity for him revolves around the church.
I'm sure that's not quite the case with you guys. I just find it interesting that he's embarrassed that she doesn't usually go with him....when he's doing something he knows she doesn't like. It's not like this is news to him.
Several years ago my H was like you describe yours, not wanting to go anywhere at all. I got so frustrated with it, that I finally just said to him one day, you can become a hermit if you want, but I LIKE going out and doing things so I will continue to ask you if you would like to go with me, but I will not sit at home any longer doing nothing.
The first few times he got a little miffed, but I would remind him of what was happening. Now he will go with me every so often, and when he doesn't and it doesn't interfear with anything at home I go without him.
Its just another way we have distanced ourselves from one another I think.
Quote: I just find it interesting that he's embarrassed that she doesn't usually go with him....when he's doing something he knows she doesn't like.
I wouldn't be at all embarrassed if I joined something that was a group activity and my H didn't participate. I'm only embarrassed when he wants me to decline invitations from people with whom we are theoretically both friends. I end up having the feeling that I'm conveying the message "I enjoy doing things with you, but my H doesn't care to hang out with your H or boyfriend.". I've only recently been able to transcend this situation by doing things like laughing as I say to my girlfriend "Tell your H that it's nothing personal. Mr.W likes hanging out with you guys better than 99% of the population but he is just a hermit."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Zbube, you are H's twin. That is him to a tee. He is very well liked by people and yet I would not say he has one single friend. He is nice to people but does not seek out social activity with others, outside of me and our girls.
When I spoke about playing well with others, I was specifically referring to our neighbors, whom he can't stand for a variety of legitimate reasons. He is rarely jerky to people but he will quickly get that way if I force him to do something (say, come to a nephew or niece's bday party) that he has no interest in.
He'd do anything for anyone, but does not want to be forced to be social, as this is against his natural tendencies. But I do have to say that he is extremely needy of me and our children, in terms of fulfilling his social needs--likes to talk, wants my attention, etc. So he wouldn't have made a true hermit since he would get too lonely.
Enough about him.
Tell MW I'm gonna spank him next time he acts like an ass and then refuses to take responsibility for it.
Obviously none of you would last a day in my job of being in customer service on the phone with people 8 hours a day, lol.
In my family it depends on the situation on who's the social butterfly. For years the spouse wanted to hermit, now she's been "recruited" (left the room at the wrong time lol) to be on her church council and has been lots of stuff there. I've always been somewhat social, however I also do not have many close friends. Which as usual makes me a contradiction in action.
Scott -Who has decided to save the mowing until the weekend when he won't break out in a full sweat from merely starting the mower.
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
Since this is a short-answer question instead of one of those dreaded “compare and contrast” questions, I’ll leave out the details and just give you the short answer.
No, you don’t strike me as being like MrsBube at all.
I hope you realized I was not talking about being like her wrt sex and whatnot, but it was more a question along the lines of: Is she outgoing and assertive and fun to be around, etc.
