Jenny, Don't you think part of the problem is your H's inability to be accountable for his actions?
I mean, it's one thing to be appalled at yourself but it takes a whole other level of disgust to swallow your pride and verbally apologize. It also creates a sense of accountability in you, the offender--you OWN your boo boo and probably somewhere in the apology is a commitment to try and refrain in the future.
This is where it all breaks down for MW. There is no personal accountability for his actions. If he makes an agreement to have sex 2x a week and then breaks it, there is no apology necessary or even a showing of remorse cause it was ridiculous for you to even think it would happen, in the first place.
Well maybe it was but he is forgetting that HE is the one who made the commitment, with his own words. If nothing else, I would think that he would feel bad for breaking his word.
Now there was technically no promise ever made to refrain from calling you a c*nt but, again, I would think that his moral code would prompt him to take responsibility for his actions and apologize--even if he was provoked into saying it, it's still wrong.
Incidentally, MrHP has an impossible time apologizing as well. It has become sortof a joke around here that I will ask him to apologize to me, after he has started his Nice Suck Up routine. He wants to do this in order to weasel out of having to say out loud, I was wrong--please forgive me. I would rather hear a short apology, and be done with it, than a long drawn out suck upagge period. Whenever I do something wrong, I apologize and it isn't easy for me.
Religion has been verrrry good for him, in this arena. It has really helped him grow as a person. I'm not suggesting this for MW but I am saying that until he learns how to take responsibility for his own actions, I wonder how he thinks this will all get resolved?
