Quote: I actually have the reverse situation in that I'd prefer to speed things up and have some raunchiness while my H needs to feel a certain emotional feeling. He will start to warm me up but then he is looking for something from me... I finally figured out that what he wants is to feel I really want him. Because I am shy/reserved I haven't done such a good job of this, but I am getting there. For instance, if he wants oral from me he knows he has to direct me there ( for the life of me, I can't just go for it).
Are you sure your H is looking for emotional connection in order to be more sexual? The way you describe things, it sounds like what he is looking for is just more clear cut sexual signaling from you. When you find yourself wanting the action to be faster and raunchier is the situation that you start moving faster and doing raunchy things and your H shuts you down with his lovey-slo-mo or are you just hoping that he will take the lead in terms of speed and raunch?
The topic of this thread has become quite confused and it is probably my fault. In my mind, a "quickie" is not the same thing as a "wham,bam" encounter. IMO a "quickie" is what happens when you are both in the mood for a fast, energetic, raunchy encounter without a lot of foreplay or romance. A "wham,bam" encounter is what happens when a guy doesn't concern himself adequately with whether his partner needs/wants more foreplay or stimulation in order to become fully aroused or orgasm. I frequently enjoy and even seek out "quickies". No woman enjoys a "wham, bam" encounter. The problem I was trying to describe is that even if you are a HDW and you are in the mood for sex, you aren't necessarily in the mood for a "quickie".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
