JJ... I actually have the reverse situation in that I'd prefer to speed things up and have some raunchiness while my H needs to feel a certain emotional feeling. He will start to warm me up but then he is looking for something from me... I finally figured out that what he wants is to feel I really want him. Because I am shy/reserved I haven't done such a good job of this, but I am getting there. For instance, if he wants oral from me he knows he has to direct me there ( for the life of me, I can't just go for it)...this works because he's still somewhat of a control freak and wants to feel ready for it. In order for his body to respond, he needs to feel wanted. We can go through IC for awhile...I know if I want him to cumm I just have to motion to him ( by holding him tighter and becoming more active) that I am really into him. Other times, it feels like he needs to feel he is providing a service for me...I joke with him about his "tool" and I find myself saying thank you. He will always throw in something loving, which I do love but he has a hard time just enjoying sex for sex's sake. Sometimes I'd like us just to take the EC for granted.
