Do you think she knows that you want foreplay geared at you? Is it something you have communicated with her?
I ask because her mindset may be "this is what it takes to get me off and that's what it takes to get you off. So we're both doing what it takes to get each other off."
If it isn't something you've discussed, she may not really understand (though I know it seems like it would be intuitive that reciprocal would be a good thing) that you would like a little more attention prior to insertion. In fact, she may see what she's doing AS reciprocal.
