what if my h is just one of those guys whose happy to be the breadwinner have his wife bring him a cup of soup and doesn't need or desire much more (ie. the affection, qt I desire)
before seperation/outing of a...h and I did have a discussion (strangly prompted by him) of what makes a good h...h thought that being a good provider was worth 75% keeping the lawn looking good worth 15% or 20% I don't recall what else he gave credit too....Why h was suddenly questioning such things I don't know...but his thoughts do say a lot.
I know it's important for a man to feel like a provider but to the extent that h takes it?
I know a lot of people read my threads...I also know that a lot of the people that read my threads hear nothing but anger...though it make read as anger it's not...it's frustration! I'm proud of my h that he is the provider that he is...heck when I met him he didn't have a pot to piss in...litterally...I was with him before he started his business...I helped him start it. I'm proud of all he's done and I've said so.
What I'm not proud of is the fact that he's let it consume him.
There are so many things...so many things that I could say that may help explain my sit to you all...I'm sure it's all there in bits and pieces over the past 3 years...but here's the short version...
I met h when I was 16 ( a junior in hs) h was 19 ( a sophmore in college though he dropped out shortly after meeting me) we got married roughly 8 years later and have been married for 8 years. There were 3 or 4 break ups during the 8 years prior to m...all initiated by me why? for the very same reasons I talk about now...always fell asleep on me...didn't have time for me...rejected my sexually..etc. I'm honestly NOT rewritting history...it's the truth.
H is who he is...yes I chose to marry him despite my dipleasure with the way things were...there was a part of me that hoped it would get better...there was a part of me that believed him when he told me they would...trouble is over the years things didn't get better they got worse.
I come here for help because I don't really want to D...if I didn't have a family maybe that would be for the best but I don't want to put my children through it unless absolutely necessary.
I believe h IS capable...why else would I have kept going back to him...maybe he's just good at starting a r..paying attention giving the time and then retreats...maybe he doesn't know how to balance things...or maybe it's me like so many of you here try to have me believe.
in any case...I am looking for ways to make things better or to be certain it can't be made better.
