Sorry you're having a rough go of it. I'm not sure what to say that will be particularly helpful...I think you already know my bent, right? Rough patches at home always lead to a re-reading of DR for me followed by a re-reading of Mars & Venus. The combination regrounds me, gets me back doing stuff that "works" (in my M, at least), etc. Throw in some meditation, a good dose of exercise and some QT with h (most likely just hanging out on the couch watching some sporting event!)...
You probably also can anticipate my other thoughts...those around snooping (which I guess one can classify the whole underwear thing as, right?). It just created so many bad feelings for me...so much badwill that I KNEW I was creating a negative mood. Maybe it's naive (I'm sure some will say so) but again, it just doesn't work for me.
But, hey, this isn't about ME or my M, right? What gets you and h back on track, LL?
Let me say one other thing...there was something in an earlier post of yours where you were irked (maybe not the right word) when h told son he would be home and not you directly (or told him things would be less busy soon, or whatever)...I remember way back when you not being pleased if h would buy you flowers and have the kids give them to you...could you see your way clear to being OK with h needing to use the kids as a communication buffer? It doesn't seem harmful for the kids and if it still gets the point across to you, does it really matter if he needs that crutch right now? Or, is all of this more related to the point you recently brought up that you feel h came back only for son?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
