is it just coincidence that most often when I write on my thread something negative you bump up one of these positive threads?
Yes, it really is just a coincidence! (At least this time it was, anyway!! )
I was noticing a treand
Forgive my brevity for the moment, but I just wanted to touch base with you real quick, and will try to get back with you soon. Also, I wanted to commend you on all the GAL things you've been doing, and how hard you've been trying to get your marriage to where you want it to be.
Thank you for noticing! I've done almost too well in gal...it's certainly helped to keep me busy and having things to look forward to but hasn't seemed to do much for my m
Just to throw this out there for now, and not for any actions yet, it seems to me like "passive" forms of DB'ing have yielded results for you, but not quite the results you've been looking for.
exactly!
If I recall correctly, it seems like more "aggresive" DB'ing helped to at least bring him back to you. Is that correct?
When h was gone it was easy to be aggressive. To detach, be mysterious etc. When he first returned it was easy to shake things up by letting him know my dissatisfactions with things..he then seemed more willing to make desired changes. Since then any "aggressive" action is counterproductive.
I'm stuck. It seems like all I've got left is a real LRT..meaning I once again let him know I'm not happy with things are and plan to take action...but am I ready to really go through with it? the last time I mentioned my disatisfaction with things he simply said "well that sux" and that was the end of the conversation and nothing changed.
Plus why should I have to be aggressive to get the simple things I want..after 15 years of trying to talk to him about us he knows what I want..why should I have to be aggressive about it? why should I be put in the position to feel like I have to force him to show me the love I want/need/deserve. Haven't I been through enough with him already for him to get it? I honestly feel like the only time he was being honest with me about his feelings was when he was leaving and that his return was only for our son (yes we have dd too but she was too young to have been affected by his absense the way son was) and out of the fears he may have had of simply assuming the same roll in ow's family. Maybe I put too much pressure on him to come home...maybe he shouldn't have but now we're just stuck playing house again.
I don't want him to be cheating again but it's almost like that's the only way I'm going to get him to open up and be honest about his feelings. Of course if he's cheating I'm done so there's no point in it. If he's not well he sure doesn't act like he's interested in being with me...I'm just "the wife".
Again, not for action yet, but I'm wondering what types of "drastic" 180's might be out there for you to really shake things up a bit? You've done so many things "right" so far, and maybe it's time to do something different?
The way I see it, there are only three drastic things I can do.
1. Snoop and find him cheating 2. cheat myself, and that's obviously a ridiculous idea! 3. contact a lawyer and let him know I'm considering D unless things drastically change.
any thoughts or other drastic measures I can take?
Again, sorry to be so brief, but just some food for thought. Will try to get back with you some more later!
sometimes brief is more than is needed. I do hope you check back in soon.
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