Quote: I know I"m being entirely too simplistic here but I"m not looking to suggest "THE FIX" but more to the point maybe the first step towards getting out of this cycle
trouble is, it no longer feels like a cycle...it feels more like a rut. In the past what would have ended it is for me to first make it worse by bringing it into the open...in other words to stop just going about my business letting keeping happy while the drift between us grows and mention my displeasure with the current path of the r (or noting the seeming lack of).
That talk would normally end with a fight due to his lack of having anything to add or take away..which would then lead to more distance which inevitably would lead to him rejoining the living.
I have been going out a bit more with friends and I think that is having some effect on h though not enough. The past two Sundays h has made the suggestion and followed through with spending a family day at our towns private beach (lakefront). So we fish, swim, hang out etc at the lake and eventually start to feel like a normal family only to arive home where h just falls right back into his falling asleep. Yesterday for example we got home from the lake @ 7..by 7:30 h was asleep and I was bathing and putting the kids to bed myself..h has also starting telling son he can sleep in our bed for a while which of course leaves me to carry a 45+ lb 6 year old to his own bed if I'd like to sleep in mine...enough of that so I've slept in the guest room with no comment from h.
several months back h had an "anxiety attack" and was given some pills to take...he's been put on Paxil (to take daily) and also has some other pills to take when needed (which seems to be once or twice a day). He also seems to be drinking a bit more (beer) than is common for him (at least a beer or two nightly before crashing as well as drinking at the lake each sun).
I could assume his falling asleep is a result of the medication/drinking...but he's been falling asleep early for years.
maybe I should just ask him if he's still interested in an open marriage..or maybe I should just give in and let those that want to follow him follow him and see what (if anything) he's up to.
