thanks for dropping in...I'm getting tired of this myself so I can imagine how others that have seen me flopping feel
Quote: Some thoughts, LL - First - have you read The Five Love Languages? I've read some of it Do you know your H's love languages? words of affirmation and acts of service Are you speaking them? as often as I can..which is often
Second - although snooping is usually a bad thing, in this case, it might be good to find out whether he has resumed the affair (or started another one).
there really is no way for me to snoop. h has his own office 30 miles away with a phone as well as his own cell phone..he never brought anything from, of or relating to ow here and never will...he is his own boss so can be anywhere at any given time throughout the day so I can't just drop in and check on him...heck it took over a year for him to get caught with her the first time and that was a fluke...a family friend of mine just happend to be at the hospital for an anual cancer screen the day he took ow to her apointment...otherwise who knows what would be going on now...I'd probably still be living in ignorant semi bliss trying to just be happy assuming "that's just the way he is"
Third - are you GAL in a really interesting way? Have you discovered your passions, taken up an interesting new sport, whatever?
I started a book discussion group during our seperation...I love to read, learn and talk about things with intelligent people..we meet monthly.
I started a moms night out club that meets monthly for dinner and dancing or pool or whatever.
the moms night out club has led to meeting some fun moms that I do stuff with regularly like karaoke once a week if I'm not otherwise occupied (I am the function queen of the family)
I joined the local volunteer ambulance co that has me on call one night a week and one weekend a month plus monthly training sessions
I do things regularly with the kids like...going fishing, going to the beach, planning summer outings with friends etc.
I enjoy my life and don't feel that much is lacking other than eventually (when the kids are in school full time) getting back to school to earn a masters degree
Fourth - do you have a plan B? If you found out tomorrow H had been continuing the affair all this time, or whatever, what have you been doing to get yourself closer to a position of financial independence and strength?
all set in the strength department...he'd find his bags packed before he could even attempt to explain. Financial independance? well I don't currently have a job of my own as I care for our two kids (6 and 3) and his schedule makes it hard enough to volunteer and do the other things I enjoy.
Seems to me, when you feel safe and secure in the sense that you could get by without H and have a fabulous life of your own, is when the WAS seems to wake up and notice.
Oh he notices but instead of it making him want to or attempt to engage me he just says with an attitude "must be nice to have a life" I don't get him...doesn't like when I don't have much of a life and want to do things/ spend time with him (and get annoyed that he doesn't want to/ can't spend time with me) and now that I have a life and don't bother/ count on him he's pissy.
