It is hard work, to go on with a relationship you have committed your life to, and not reach the happiness that you want(expect). I have been patient, maybe too patient. My twin sister has left her marriage of 20+ years, and found happiness with another. I am so jealous. Back to celibate, this time because the spark of wanting her, and feeling wanted has been extinguished. When you lose this, luckily, the anxious, scarey, butterfly's in the pit of your stomach with nausea feeling is also gone. That makes decision making about what to do with your relationship easy. Making the decision to part is the hardest part, I hope that doing it will be easier. I think she knows it,and is trying to do a 180. But in my heart, I know that both she and I will never go thru a significant change in our core values, so we will just end up in this same lonely place again and again. In my work, I watch people going thru major illness, injuries and death. It gives me an appreciation on the need to find happiness, give pleasure to others and feel like your life is fulfilled. It can all change in a heartbeat.
