Re: I am trying my best to detach. It seems to help me deal with W's unpredictability. Good actions and post csw. Firm and loving without being a doormat.
Wow what is happening to you seems like Deja vu <I hope I spelled that correctly>. Keep what you are doing up. It is working she is interested but she is not willing to tell you that. I remeber when my W started to turn around she would still tell me that whe wanted a D and that nothing has changed. I still have a Text Message from her telling me this. 2 1/2 years after we have gotten back together. Keep on doing what you are doing its working.
Thanks all for the replies. It is good to hear other more positive views of my sitch.
After hours of waiting, a hot iodine injection, and a few minutes of having my head in a crazy whirling contraption, I must wait some more to find out what is going on with my bod. Of course they gave no indication of when the results would be in. Knowing the doc, I will probably wait weeks if I don't call first.
W called me when I was on my way to the hospital. She wanted to tell me not to be scared or nervous, and to let me know that she thought everything would be fine. She made a similar statemnt yeasterday, regarding my prognosis. At that time I said, "At least you're optimistic about one thing." Today I just thanked her for calling and wishing me well. I asked if she still wanted me to call after the apt, and she said yes. When I called, she was involved in playing with SILs sons and their cockatiel. Birds and kids don't mix so well, so she was very preoccupied. I got off the phone relatively quickly. She said she was coming home tomorrow. She didn't say "planning..." or "should" she said she was. We shall see.
W made comments two different times regarding me "not trying to win her back" Yesterday, and the day before. The first time, I didn't say I was trying, I said, "There is no winning involved with this" and asked her what it would look like or seem like if I WAS trying to win her back. She couldn't answer that question.
As much as I would like to think that I can forgive her, I won't know for sure until we start to work on things. We will need to figure out the "when" first. The why has been touched upon, and is fairly well understood. The how is something else that we wil lneed to discuss. How many ways and times did she decieve me? How blatant and callous was her disregard for my feelings? There are many miles to go before we sleep, STS.
The grass over yonder is looking greener to me everyday. I am praying that W will come home before our pasture withers and dies.
Hope all goes well with your test results. Let us know when you hear anything.
Also sounds like she is coming around. It seems like when you are the mystery man she comes around and starts wondering a lot more. I would say to keep it up. That winning her back comment had to mean something. Maybe she wants you to be forceful and start demanding she come home. Maybe she would like for you to wisk her off and carry her to the bedroom. Hmmmmm so many possibilities. Any clue what she meant by that. I mean you have done so much to show you care. Do you have any idea what her love language is?
W came home on Thursday, surprisingly. She told me Fir morning that she had been asked by SIL to babysit on Friday night, but that it wasn't confirmed. She actually called last night to let me know she was babysitting. It is a rare thing for me to be informed. It sounded like she was actually doing what she said.
I spent the evening helping a friend paint his new house. It is great to have good friends to share the everyday burden of life.
W still exhibits a great deal of entitlement, and very little remorse. She told me she has needs that need to be met, but it seems like she won't let me meet them. I told her I also have needs that aren't being met. She had no reply.
Cally, as much as I would like to "demand " that W come home, that is the last thing she is looking for right now. I think my best bet is to keep on keepin on and strive for my happiness. I am still lovingly distant, and still open to work on the M, but right now, I am in no place to make demands. When the time is right, I will jump at the opportunity to "whisk" her off to just about anywhere... I guess her LL is PT, and or QT. There is none of that around here .
I stopped in tho the pub on Thursday, since I saw BB's truck there. I assumed the rest of the crew was there, but it was just him, his GF, and one other friend. We started talking about work, and I offered up some more of my ideas. He offered me a sales position with the company, outside of EBay, with a considerable raise. I have to present my ideas on Wed morning. I don't have a great deal of sales experience, and my "ratcheting" experience is with talking down prices, now I need to learn to do the opposite. The company will be consolidating operations into one huge building within the next 6 months, so I started working there at just the right time. I will lay out my best plan, and see if it wins him over. He said that I would be head to head selling against current GM. I honestly don't think that is the best idea. I will try to figure out a way to express my ideas without sounding like a know it all or someone who "wants to change the world in a day"
The CT results should be available on Tuesday or Wednesday, and I will need to call them to get them.(just like you said, HP)
W said she has no plans for this long weekend. I think she must, and just doesn't want to share them with me. I have no plans, but I have developed an uncanny ability to fill up my time.
Off to find "Sales training for Dummies" or something similar.
I got the sales job. I wasn't even sure I wanted it until I saw the loaded contacts folder and realized how well the old guy did with his 30 hour weeks.
I heard from doc today. The result were "positive" in that there were no irregularities found with the pituitary or thyroid glands. I am willing to bet that the T prob was 99% dietary. I was simultaneously starving myself with my low fat diet and poisoning myself with a high soy intake. I have noticed a big change in my motivation, drive, and general sense of well being since I changed my diet (I have also experienced some acne, another big indicator)
Today was a good day. I expect to top it with many better days.
Maybe she would like for you to wisk her off and carry her to the bedroom. 
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