The really funny thing is if and when you get her back she will probably go back to the way it was before the A. That is what my wife did. While she was in her Crazy faze as I call it. She was wearing makeup, shaving the leggs the whole bit. Now No more shaving legs(by the way girls what is up with that?) Now she says she doesnt have time for that. I wonder what changed .
W didn't shave all of the time before, now she uses veet. I could care less about makeup etc. The smooth legs are nice, but I was fine with her however she chose to be. I think she has a natural beauty that makes all of that stuff superfluous. She looks really good in her new duds. Sadly, she isn't getting snazzed up for me.
I haven't heard from W yet. I don't know if she will be home tonight. I will try to get out and do something fun, but I am exhausted, and I have to go to work early tomorrow for a meeting regarding the restructuring and new openings.
My CT apt is next WED. I am not really nervous, but I am anxious to get it over with. I hope they come up with some answers.
I declined the offered position at work today, since it would essentially involve a pay cut when one considers the bonuses that I am currently getting. My proposal to be a buyer is in the works, and seems to be a much better option for me.
W never came home or called yesterday. My guess is she won't be home tonight. I also bet that she will be going to OM's DD graduation of Saturday.
I am going to do something fun tonight. I haven't figured out what yet, but I will stay on guard. I am at a point where I could be easily swayed by an attractive woman, and I need to keep my moral base intact. I am tired of coming home to an empty house. I am tired of having things to share, but no one to share with. (except you fine SSM folks and my small base of "real" friends)
I might just drive up to the mountains this weekend. I will check the weather report, and maybe I will pack up for a solo excursion into the woods, or down a river. I just bought a bunch of pouch Indian food from the Indian grocer, (scoop up a bit of river water and boil in bag) All I need to do is throw the boat in my van and head out.
I need to do something to make this a clean break. If I stick around here, invariably I find myself thinking about W, and I have no desire to think about her at this point. It is like the old saying..."if you can't say something nice..." only I am applying it to my thoughts. I am having a very hard time thinking nice thoughts about W. She has shown nothing but contempt for my feelings, and a blatant disregard for any sort of civility. I don't need people like that in my life.
Sorry to hear Mrs csw is a tough turn around case. Some people are convinced things will never change even when they see bits and pieces changinging. They are from the "Too little too late" group.
Sounds like the mountain drive would you good. It might be cooler there and feel refreshing.
I am glad to see you have a good moral base. I think it will serve you well if your W returns or stays in her semi-WAW mode. You will always know you did what you could to save the M without stepping over the line.
Make some $$$$ at work and have some fun in the mountains.
Thanks Lou, I have yet to make a solo camping trip. My camping buddy is in Cali. for a wedding. My other good friend is in the midst of closing on his new house. I have no fear of going alone, and in fact I think it may be good for me. (then again...maybe not)
New house friend just officially nixed his availability. I need to find some single friends for these impromptu excursions.... BB is single, but he is less a friend and more a friend of a friend, and he is more into boating on the lake in his motorboat.
I will finalize these plans and be on my way tomorrow morning...
I don't know you very well and may be off, but when I feel alone because there is distance between my W/BB and me, being with her or thinking about her when we are at odds, is worse than getting away by myself. I feel better alone/not with a friend, than staying home wishing something good would happen.
I moved about 28 times when I was a kid so I did not have many long term friends. Some friends were not into the things I liked at some places I lived so I learned to take care of myself or be with a friend. Your experiences and preferences may vary.
Sleep in the van, ride the mountain bike, pee in the woods, cook over a twig fire, breath in the cool mountain air. Does it get any better? Yes! Hold and ML with someone you love and eat chocolate ice cream. Sometimes the better option is not available so you have to go with something else.
Lou, I only moved once in my childhood, in 8th grade, but to me it was a big deal. I didn't keep many friends from HS. I managed to keep in touch with college frineds, and they have been my salvation these days. (I am going to "new house" friend's old place tonight for dinner and Bocce. I couldn't twist his arm hard enough over the phone for camping, but maybe in person .
If I go solo, there are two different fun places I would like to go , but one was introduced to me by OM, so I think that one is out. The second is a hike, to a lake with loons and a lean-to. I can picture myself there, a loon listening to loons in a lean-to. I think it is a relatively short hike...approx 3+ miles one way. 31% chance of T-Storms, so it would be pragmatic to carry the tent. I would go light with food for a hike.
Sounds like the squirrel is digging in again....you're W's been staying at SIL's quite a bit lately too...both of which we already know are bad influences on her.
I'm really glad you are working at keeping your moral base in tact. Even if things don't work out with your W....YOU will know YOU never strayed during the M, ever....even if she never knows...the important thing is to stay true to who YOU are.
I really think getting away and doing things for your right now is an excellent thing to do too. When she does come home...expecting you to be there; she needs to see YOU have a life and aren't waiting around to cater to her or wait on her.
I'm glad things are going well at work for you too! I know it's not what you'd like to do for a living, but remember it's a means to an end for you for right now.
No Bocce tonight. Friends W took the set to school where she teaches, for a kiddie tournament. She mixed up her sack of balls with another teachers sack of balls, so she left them at school. We had a bonfire instead, to ward of the skeeters.
W called twice while I was out. She called my cell, but I missed the vibro, so she left two messages on the home phone, the second one saying she was sleeping at SIL's again. I wonder.......... She said "You haven't called either", and "call me if you want". Maybe tomorrow.
.