Well the diplomacy stuff didn't happen. I told him to go F himself. Great work Jo.
It started yesterday, he sent me an email saying he couldn't come round for DD4's birthday and that no, I couldn't have the kids. (I was supposed to be taking all four of them out today, I'd been looking forward to it for weeks) - he said he'd made other plans and wouldn't. He has never been with dd on her birthday ever.
Not even on her actual birth day. He went to the DIY store and I gave birth on the floor while he was buying shelving units.
Anyway, then he hits me with the familiar speech, 'I am getting a step-mother for the girls.' etc.
He said the same thing on DD3's 4th birthday before EX-OW came along and now he's saying it again on DD4's birthday. It's like he does it on the day I gave birth on purpose.
I questioned him and he said he's met this woman 4 weeks ago and thinks she is it (he has had muliple EA's and 1 PA) and the fact that he's told me means it will be a PA soon if not already. BTW, he will sleep with a woman on first or second meeting if he likes her, he doesn't wait.
I asked him if it was a PA when he was with me which was only 2 months ago (remember he said ILY and he was talking about commitment ceremonies. He said the D meant nothing etc) - he denied having a PA whilst with me, but I think he may have done because he told me that he's known her for several months.
Flippin' heck, EX-OW is still in that house and now he's getting OW 2 while OW 1 is still living there!
He then got angry and started blaming me for giving him chances and said it was my fault for allowing him in the house. I reminded him of the four and a half months and all the stuff he did and saying ILY etc and told him that he can't make out it's me clinging when he did all that. Now I am expected to set his boundaries for him as well as my own.
I told him he did that on purpose to spoil DD4's birthday for me, as he's done it before, exactly, with the others. I then told him to go F himself, or F her with my blessing but don't bloody well F me.
I spoke to EX-OW who tells me that potiential (or actual) OW 2 looks exactly like me, same dark hair like mine, and with a dd the same age as dd4. I find that rather scary. She is replacement Jo number 2, and maybe even replacement dd4.
I had friends round and took DD4 out for her birthday but I spent the entire day trying not to cry and I haven't eaten anything except birthday cake.
He wrecked the entire day, as always - he always does on special ocassions.
I just give up trying to mother those children. He cancels everything I plan and seems to have this sucession of 'step-mothers' for them. How can I fight that?
The worse thing is, I know OW 2 will be in the recycle bin in a few months or a year, once he's tired of her sex and he realises she's not me. That's what always happens - then he'll be back bugging me for more R and SL and I just feel trapped. I was sitting at my desk in tears, thinking how do I get out of this trap, and actually thinking I wish I could just go to sleep and pretend I never met him and never gave birth.
This evening he came to get DD4 for his contact and I was playing this classical music called 'The battle' when he arrived. I opened the door and said 'You're harder to get rid of than an STD.' To which he pretended to laugh but wasn't. I was serious, I was being mean. He actually had the nerve to ask if the girls could come in after he stopped them from being at her birthday and did all that, so I just bit back 'I thought you had a new step-mother for them now.' He looked pissed off at me and asked about these shelves I'd left outside that I am getting rid of so I said he could take them as they are only going to a charity shop otherwise.
Then he went and I shut the door in his face.
I have a really heavy cold and feel lousy. I would feel happy if I knew that was it, but I know it isn't and he's still the damn father so he's got me trapped.
I have been fighting this urge for a new one-night stand (I don't do R's) and I desperately need a hug but there isn't anyone.
