ANOTHER update! He just rang me again! I didn't answer because I knew it was him before I answered. I don't have caller display but I just sensed it was him and I was right.
He left another message sounding pissed off and tired, 'hi Jo, it's me, can you call me to discuss contact for this weekend?'
Haven't called, obviously. Didn't even get in from the clinic until a couple of hours ago. Does the man think I have no life?
havent posted to you in a while but have been reading on what has been transpiring with you. I see that you are still having a lot of medical issues. You seem to be staying admirably strong through this rough patch. Hope things get better for you soon.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
Well the pelvic thing I've got is permanent. I've had it since age 12 and they diagnosed me at age 18 after 2 years of tests and then told me it's for life, we've no idea why women get it and there's no cure.
It wasn't very good news to get when I was only 18. There's an operation I can have which *might* cure it but it's risky and they don't know if it would work. X absolutely balks at the idea.
I was on steroids (topical) and ametripteline (sp?) but both lowered my immune system and the drugs made me sick and sleepy so I came off those at age 19 or so. I was getting colds every 3 weeks and flu every few months so I started taking vitamin C and that stopped that.
Sex was only possible on the steroid though, so it did help. Then I had my DD1 child birth made sex possible without drugs - yippee!
Then every baby I had made the symptoms ease a bit more. Now I have had 4 babies, it is at it's most reasonable, and it's possible to have a decent SL (or it was possible, before I was single).
I don't use the dr's anymore as nothing they did helped a lot. I'm trying out homeopathy at the moment.
As well as this I also have a bad back which I think was caused by pregnancy, migraines roughly once every 2 months and stress related headaches nearly every day.
Who wouldn't be stressed by all this court stuff and divorce, LOL.
Then of course there's my disability but I don't consider that a health problem, it's just me.
I put up with stuff - there have been bigger upsets in life, especially recently.
Right now I want to shout, scream, cry, swear and smash up my house for fun. I am SO stressed and SO upset.
X is X not H except he's not bloody X enough just to get out of my life. I want to stamp him out like one of those X stamps on an official document.
My dream I told you about was for a good reason, he really is an idiot in real life.
If I'd have had your number I'd have called and sobbed at you down the phone, so it's a good job I don't have it or you'd have had this 'insane' anglo-Greek woman harrassing you! Instead I called a counsellor and talked for an hour about nothing and he couldn't understand much of it because I was babbling like the mad woman in the attic.
At this rate X will give me enough crap to write a flippin' sequel!
Today tops even the last incident that happened and it's DD's birthday today. She is 3.
He always does it on special occassions, every time, it's like he knows and he's planned it that way just to upset me so I can't enjoy anything. It's so selfish.
I really don't want to be his wife anymore, not even in my heart. I have truly had enough. The worst thing is, I know in a few months he will be back trying to weedle his way into my life like always, and this time I'm so sick of it, I just want him to disappear.
Why couldn't I marry a nice husband who knew the meaning of the word commitment? I mean, was it so much to ask to have a husband that loved me, whom I could love in return and kids that I could actually raise.
That's all I wanted, so why was it too much?
It's a good job there isn't a man in my house right now because I'd either screw him for the hell of it or just start yelling because he is there and I can.
I can't say anything else at the moment, too bloody angry and annoyed and upset. Plus he bestows his delightful company on me in a little while and really I just want to staple things to his head!
Sorry Gabriel, it's not you, you're lovely. It's me for picking such a loser.
(((Jo))) The reason he does what he does is to get a reaction from you. As long as you continue to react, he will continue his $hitty behavior. Remember, he's like a 2 yr old. Even bad attention is better than no attention. Don't let him see you angry or crying. Vent here.
My opinion, he's a jerk!!!! But then, you knew that....
I am sorry as well, Jo. You deserve to be treated so much better!
Tell us what he has done this time, Jo. Maybe that will help a bit.
Qoe's advice is solid - don't react. Act 'As-If'. Dogma posted a killer reading on this in his thread recently. I got a lot out of it yesterday.
Make it so that you're in charge of your mood and your thinking again, Jo. Don't let him take over. And give this the 24-hr rule. Let DD celebrate her BDay knowing happiness, and do your best to maintain power over your mood and behavior.
If he gets really out of hand, with a sweet smile on your face ask him to act like a good boy or you'll have to ask him to leave.
You still on here?
Gabriel
P.S. I can email you my phone number if you ever do have that need to talk in the future.
) 