I felt crushed for you when I caught up with your posts. I hope you're taking good care of yourself!
You said s/t earlier that was my exact thought. He needs IC and anger management tx. Once done, then there's a starting point. But without it, you're asking for yet more acting out. It seems that he's forgotten how to be in a normal R, with appropriate boundaries, and giving to the other, and rules of expression.
You and I share the same attitude about future Rs.
